


Don't

by lostcontinue



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Changkyun is a brat, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gunhee is like really hurt, I love them so much, Jooheon is a fucking tease, M/M, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Sexual content starts in chapter 9, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, i don't know how to tag, jookyun - Freeform, my poor son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-02-26 08:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13231491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostcontinue/pseuds/lostcontinue
Summary: Changkyun likes Jooheon.That's just something he has to deal with.And he does that by not sleeping and being really clumsy whenever his friend is around.But when the boygroup gets introduced to a new concept featuring the two boys as a couple in one of their new music videos, Changkyun can't really keep his feelings oh-so-hidden anymore.





	1. 》epilogue《

Lying didn't solve anything, lying only made the whole situation worse. It made parts unclear which should've been obvious from the beginning. Changkyun had to be honest, at least to himself.

"I like him."

The sound of those words sent shivers down his spine once he whispered them into the emptiness of his room.  
He was lying on his bed, the sheets draped across his barely clothed body and his eyes covered by his arm. It was dark and way too hot so he decided to get rid of the shirt he usually slept in. After removing the blanket and sitting upright in his bed he dared to look at his phone only once - just to see what time it was.  
Because if he would allow himself to keep on looking at the device in his hand, every last bit of hope for getting sleep that night would be lost.

The screen lit up the room and he flinched at the sudden brightness.

04:32

Great. Oh no just great.  
He didn't get any sleep and had to get up at 6. This day was going to be one of those where he ended up falling alseep on Hyunwoos shoulder because his head kept on telling him that the shoulder of their leader was just as comfortable as his bed and his sleep more impotant than that event they had to attend.

He turned around lying on his stomach this time. The hot summer night air that leaked trough an open window made goosebumps on his skin and his back tingle. From this angle, he thought, the night seemed so peaceful and quiet.  
If it weren't for their stupid schedule, he would enjoy it.  
It was a contrast to his day to day life; it fit perfectly in between practices and falling asleep half dead because- right, being an idol was stressful. 

But it has always been just that; stressful. Of course, he loved the music and the art and his members. Loved them from the first day he met them, even though that turned out to be a mistake.  
Ah yes, no mercy. Changkyun would've been lying if he said that all the harsh words didn't get to him at that time.  
They did and they hurt and he hurt. Luckily for him; there was a knight in shining armor with the cutest smile and beautiful brown eyes that started talking to him back then.

He sighed, that was a long time ago. Still he couldn't stop himself from smiling every time he remembered that talk with Jooheon.  
When he thought about it, he couldn't stop himself from smiling every time he thought about that brown eyed idiot.  
But that wasn't anything new to him, was it?

"Ah it's too bad" he whispered.

Changkyun turned around again taking his phone and unlocking the screen. Indifferent of his habit of talking to himself at night, he really was nuts.

"At least let me sleep, you're on my mind all the time." His words were quiet but pleading, as if the older one was actually laying in front of him.  
"When do I get to rest? It's unfair." He sounded childish and whiny and had to chuckle a bit, when he said those last two words.

With a swift swipe he opened the contacts and tapped on the name that haunted him since the beginning of his career, continuing to hum, mainly to himself. It made the room in front of him, which was cloaked in darkness and blue-ish hues, seem a bit more empty than it did just a few moments ago.  
His phone took a few seconds to load up the contact, showing the ominous name in bright, white and bold letters.

"... Jooheon" he whispered quietly.

Just quietly enough that the syllables weren't audible but he still had the need to move his lips.  
Ah yes, Jooheon. Lee Jooheon. Changkyun felt warm inside just by thinking about his older friend.  
He looked at his profile photo.  
The confident rapper smiled and seemed happy, sometimes people couldn't help but smile when they saw him.. That's how contagious his laugh was. And Changkyun was of course victim no. 1.

Jooheon looked so young and energetic in the picture compared to the exhausted and tired friend Changkyun saw far too often recently. Not that he didn't look good or something ridiculous like that.  
The younger one would only see perfection in his elder; he wouldn't ever seize to be attractive or handsome in his eyes.  
It's just that his face seemed too exhausted for Changkyuns liking, had eye bags the younger one just wanted to be gone.  
Jooheon is the kind of guy that looks intimidating and scary. He looks like he could beat you up without even trying but he is actually sweet.

Like candy or cake or, well- honey.

Ahh and his smile, ah that cursed smile and those eyes and his dimples he-  
He closed his contacts and darkened his phone screen.  
He shouldn't feel that way.  
The younger rappers smile quickly faded to a frown. He couldn't keep his thoughts from spinning around and making ridiculous assumptions about his friends.

There was no denying that Changkyun liked Jooheon. He had a crush, fell for him, fancied him; whatever synonym for his stupid feeling he could come up with.  
It was that, just that, a stupid stupid feeling that didn't go away no matter how hard he tried.  
But it was okay, because if he kept everything to himself the others wouldn't notice.  
Because if they did- the younger one didn't even want to think about that.  
His feelings and thoughts were anything but normal or acceptable - no wonder he feared how everyone would react.

Changkyun threw the phone onto the ground and buried his face into the sheets. Ah what should he do?  
This situation, everything.  
He liked his friend too much and he knew that his feelings were wrong.

He was a man after all and he shouldn't feel that way about another man, right?

But he did still start to giggle when the thought of Jooheon and him in those stupid animal costumes popped up in his head.  
Oh fuck it, his thoughts were his and only his; no need to think about other people.

God, the young rapper thought, he really was lost.

And that was when his clock started making noise, vibrating to tell him that it was already half past five and he should be showering and getting ready by now.


	2. 》one《

"Changkyun, you know that there isn't any time for breakfast. We have to leave. Now." Hoseok exclaimed.

The other ones had already hurried off while Changkyun tried to grab coffee and some fruit to eat on their way to the shooting location.  
Changkyun and Hoseok were the only two left in their dorms and while the younger one clumsily made coffee, Hoseok wanted to grab him by his hoodie and drag him out.

"There is catering, you know that!" Hoseok, getting impatient leaned over to make Changkyun pay attention to him. He even grabbed his sleeve and pulled at it a few times just to keep the younger one from spending any more of their precious time, at least that's what Changkyun thought he was doing. Because the hoodie didn't fit, it was too big and in a colour Changkyun wasn't used to wearing. And Hoseok noticed. He did find it strange but blamed the fit and colour on the younger ones poor fashion sense and called it a day.

"But it's disgusting, you know that!" He quickly replied with a smirk, mocking Hoseok.

"Besides, you did spend 20 minutes fixing your hair, didn't you? Even though the stylists are going to change up whatever you did there." He continued.  
"Oh shut up! I won't be seen looking like a complete idiot!" Even though Hoseok's reply seemed harsh, he ended his sentence with a laugh and ran his fingers through his freshly dyed hair. It was platinum blonde, not quite white but not brown or ashy. It suited him quite well Changkyun thought. But Hoseok could wear anything and have his hair any colour and he'd still be attractive.  
The younger one finished off his coffee and sat the flask down on the counter in front of the two. Before he could even do anything about it, Hoseok snatched the thing off of the counter and ran down the hall and through the door towards their parked car.

"Oh that bastard" Changkyun whispered while grinning and dashed after his friend leaving the food he prepared to sit on the counter.  
He arrived at the car a few seconds later after almost falling down the stairs to the parking lot and was greeted by a not-so happy looking Kihyun.

Oh no.

He immediately wanted to turn around and dash into the opposite direction but Kihyun was Kihyun so he continued to walk towards the car. The older one didn't even say a word and gestured for Changkyun to get into the goddamned car. He complied because he knew better than to not follow Kihyun's orders.  
The car, or more accurately, the van had two doors and was jet black. In Changkyun's opinion a bit suspicious looking but he didn't mind. He opened the first door and sat down while giving Kihyun a questioning 'is that okay' look. The other one just shook his head in disbelievement and took his place next to Changkyun while closing the door.  
To his surprise he didn't notice who he sat next to until he heard a dreaded voice calling his name.

"Hey, Changkyun!"

He turned his head a bit and saw Jooheon looking at him. The younger rapper just stared at him for a while. The older one, similar to Hoseok, recently got his hair coloured to be a bright white and it just really fit and looked so good on him. Changkyun stared until he noticed Jooheon's eyes darting from his face to his body and back up. After a questioning look his expression changed and he blushed while trying to keep himself from laughing. His quiet chuckle was hidden behind his hand which he brought up to cover his face.  
Changkyun wouldn't quite say that he was confused; irritated would be a better word to describe his feelings.  
Irritated and visibly shocked.

He wanted to ask Jooheon what was wrong but the two were interrupted by an angry looking Kihyun coughing to get the younger ones attention.  
After turning his head again he looked straight into the face of a disappointed band member wanting answers. The other ones, even their chauffeur in the driver’s seat (who had yet to start the car) looked at the two of them in anticipation of what would happen next.  
Changkyun and Kihyun didn't even notice them; they just looked at each other, one in bewilderment and one full of anger.

"So Changkyun..." Kihyun started while looking straight at the seat in front of him. "I suppose you have some excuse for being 30 minutes late?" 

The tension inside of that van was so thick, you could poke it with a stick and it would probably squeal.

"I was... „The younger one nervously fiddled with his fingers while contemplating to just lie and tell him he slipped in the shower and lost consciousness after falling or something just as believable. But he decided to tell the truth.

"I didn't sleep. And I really needed to drink coffee before we got to our location or else I would've probably fainted" He answered. At that point Hoseok remembered the flask in his hand and reached over handing it to Changkyun. He unintentionally broke the tension between the two of them by doing that.

"Whatever, could we just please start driving?" Kihyun now looked at their chauffeur who then seemed quite startled. He turned to his wheel after receiving an apologetic look from Hyunwoo and started the engine.  
The drive was a silent one until Minhyuk wanted to drink something and Hyungwon compared him to a horse which just made everyone laugh. After that the last bits of anger vanished and even Kihyun, who was so irritated before apologized to Changkyun after the younger one promised him to just sleep more.  
Jooheon did ask him at one point why he had so many problems when it came to sleeping but Changkyun just acted like he didn't hear him, ignoring the question he was too scared to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter 2! I'm sorry that it's so short, I'll try uploading longer chapters. Also, I'll keep posting daily so stay tuned haha ♡ 
> 
> I'd be happy if you'd leave a comment ♡


	3. 》two《

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bandmembers and their manager get to talk. Not that great of an idea, actually.

The group arrived at their shooting location terribly late. Not only did the early morning traffic slow them down, the driver also got the address wrong resulting in them arriving at 08:45 instead of the promised 07:00.

But to their surprise the manager didn't mind all that much because all he did after seeing them jumping out of the dark van was saying the usual  
"I don't want this to happen again!"  
and going off to talk some things through with the head of their label.

Jooheon was the last to exit the vehicle. He walked out of it seeing Kihyun and Shownu excessively apologizing for the time of their arrival. They didn't even notice that their manager stopped paying attention after a few moments to concentrate on the discussion he was having through his Smartphone. But the two of them eventually stopped after seeing him walk off into the building.

Changkyun exited the car before Jooheon did and got to see their shooting spot before him. It was an abandoned warehouse reminding him of their 'stuck' video. The scenery was quite similar; there even was graffiti on the walls. From an outside perspective it looked very shaggy and worn down. He was sure that people new to the scene probably couldn't image getting their hair, makeup and wardrobe done in a place like this. But Changkyun knew better, their debut was years ago. This place was probably a well known location only used for photo shootings, movies and things like that. So, no matter how abandoned it seemed, the inside was probably renovated. He was sure that there were fitting rooms and places to get everything done, just like any other place they've been. And the amount of stylists and other staff members hurriedly exiting and entering the big warehouse just proved that. He stared at it some more, wondering what their company and especially their manager thought while choosing this place when he was forced out of his daydreaming by a hand grabbing his shoulder.

Changkyun was so out of it, he didn't notice that all the other members already left towards the building. He just stood there, multiple metres in front of it next to their van. The fact that all other members already had left made him wonder who touched him and when he turned around he was greeted by an all-too familiar face.  
Jooheon just smiled at him and looked back at the building, wanting to take a step forward when, out of nothing, their chauffeur started the engine and drove off. It was incredibly loud and Jooheon standing very close to it got startled and fell forwards.

Changkyun turned around and grabbed him by his arms so that he wouldn't actually fall and hurt himself.  
It was just a reflex but it led to the two of them being extremely close. They were so close in fact, that Changkyun could feel Jooheon's breath on his lips. They just stared into each other’s eyes, both very shocked by the whole situation. But the younger ones eyes didn't stay on Jooheon’s; they travelled down his face and stopped right by his lips. They were slightly parted and he was panting due to the fact that he nearly trip and fell a few seconds prior. Changkyun's gaze moved back to the other ones eyes. Jooheon wore contact lenses, blue ones. He wore them because he wanted to put them in in private and felt uncomfterable doing that in front of people. So the staff started sending him the planned contacts to the shoot. And even though he wore them, Changkyun could see how pretty his eyes were. They just seemed so nice and welcoming. His whole face did in comparison to how he was dressed.

They stood there, nearly falling over and looking into each other’s eyes for a few seconds when Jooheon started stumbling again and so they separated.  
Jooheon patted the younger ones back while still reaching for air. The slight touch sent shivers down Changkyun’s spine but no he wouldn't be seen laughing like a small girl because of that. He was a man, a manly man and that's why he ignored it and opted for a conversation instead.

"You really are scared way too easily, Jooheon." he remarked with a smirk.

"Is that so?" The one in question replied with a chuckle of his own and raised brows.

Changkyun was in fact the youngest of the group even though he didn't behave that way. What he did lacked respect and he teased the others a bit too much to be considered proper behaviour. But Jooheon didn't mind, he enjoyed this side of Changkyun just like he enjoyed his confident, sexy and arrogant stage persona and his actual cutesy and authentic self. They grew too close to each other for him to not like any side of the other ones personality.

"We should get going. They're probably waiting and Kihyun's probably getting angry again." The older one mentioned.

"Oh god and we don't want the car scene to repeat itself, do we?" Changkyun added and together they began laughing and walking towards the large front door to the building. With one stern pull, Jooheon opened the door and closed it right after the two of them went inside. It was a large iron door that looked rusty, adding to the worn out building aesthetic. But to Jooheon’s surprise it wasn't actually rust. It was just painted in way that made it look like it.

Both rappers had to realise that waiting so long outside had the bad consequence of their other members walking off without the two noticing. But it wasn't like they were alone in any way; the entrance room was crowded and full of staff and other people in professional attire. Jooheon and Changkyun stood out. While the people around them were wearing mostly black the two of them were clothed in strong and bright colours. While Changkyun wore a big baby pink hoodie (he wasn't quite aware of wearing) and jean shorts, Jooheon just suddenly thought dressing in ripped jeans and a screaming yellow long-sleeved t-shirt was a good idea. But Changkyun had to admit, the way the shirt's sleeves were too long for his arms was one of the cutest things he'd ever seen. Jooheon could say the same about the other but his thoughts had a different source than I.Ms. He chose to ignore them for now and just chuckled.

The two of them looked around for a bit, walking from one room to the other. This building was way too big. Some rooms were the renovated ones with all the equipment and staff but others were left bare. That meant the full abandoned-building vibe could really get to someone rushing through empty rooms to find 6 people out of approximately 500. After a few minutes of aimlessly walking around and going into the second floor, they found an array of fitting rooms. Their band mates and their manager were standing in front of a big window. Thank god, both thought before approaching them.

Their manager wasn't talking on the phone anymore, he was arguing with Kihyun instead, who looked like he was upset. But it didn't look serious. Kihyun's upset face was more that of a mother being too scared of their children being cold or something similar. It was nothing to worry about; both Jooheon and Changkyun knew that. The group was so deep in conversation that they didn't notice both rappers arrival. That led to them being able to hear some sentences that were thrown around.  
It was mainly a worrying Kihyun and their manager saying he

"talked it through with their company, everything is completely fine".

Suddenly and mid sentence, he started noticing them and the rest of their friends turned around with him. Jooheon and Changkyun expected some annoyed faces, asking them where they were and generally an annoyed Kihyun because you couldn't really be late twice in just a few hours without thinking you'll get screamed at by the overly-protective member. But what they got was something different. The members turned around simultaneously, some were amused and grinning (especially Hoseok, he was nearly laughing at that point) others looked worried and as if they'd pity both of them. Only Kihyun and their manager’s faces looked shocked. The look resembled someone who had been caught talking about another person. They seemed sorry for some reason.

Jooheon wore a smile, contrary to the other ones expressions. He was amused at their nearly synchronised movement. And Changkyun, well, he wasn't quite unaware of their weird behaviour he just simply choose to act that way, no need to get into another discussion. At that thought he glanced over to Kihyun.  
To Changkyun it seemed that a few moments of silence were enough. He wanted to say something, he even got a syllable out but quickly shut his mouth when a really lout Minhyuk interrupted them.

"Hey guys did you hear what we talked about? Is that okay with you?" He half-shouted at them even leaning forward and using Shownu as some kind of support to not fall over. He didn't mind. Minhyuk looked at them with wide eyes, anticipating something. He even started to smile. Whatever those guys talked about, it was probably something really hilarious according to him.

At closer inspection everyone, even their manager bore that expression.  
That just left the two of them clearly irritated, having heard absolutely nothing.

"No ehm. We haven't heard anything we just arrived." Changkyun said, this time not being interrupted by a loud small and enthusiastic band member. He said his words very slowly and by the end of the sentence, everyone seemed relieved. Except for Minhyuk, he actually looked a bit disappointed.

"Okay great. Let's talk." Their manager suddenly requested. He seemed very convinced of this thing he talked about earlier so no one dared to question him. He led them to another side of the renovated room that had chairs and a table. It was the catering place with food and drinks. Just the sight of that made Changkyun feel nauseous and he remembered his coffee. He left it in the car.

After sitting down their manager continued. "Okay, I wasn't quite sure how to tell the others this, but with you two it's going to be even harder..."  
Everyone closely lisened, especially the two in question.

"... about your new music video. The heads of Starship Ent. wanted us to come up with something ... shocking. To attract attention and possibly a larger audience. But mostly attention." He obviously hesitated to tell them so he explained every single detail concerning the video all over again. Their concept, that was similar to 'all in' and their stylist he flew in from Japan. All the things regarding the music video just not the most important one. After talking for 10 minutes and not even mentioning the things he told the other ones earlier, Hyungwon was annoyed that they were wasting more time. He used their manager’s brief pause and just started talking over him.

"They want the rap line to play a couple. So Changkyun and you, Jooheon, would be shown being all flirty." He accentuated his (very sudden) sentence by rolling his eyes and getting up to drink some water. To him, it was no big deal. And Jooheon repeated that.

"And... what's the bad thing about that? We've done things like that before, remember our 'All In' video? I don't see why everyone is so upset." He explained shortly. He even put an arm around Changkyun to 'accentuate the point' or whatever his true intentions were.

Changkyun on the other hand didn't know how to feel about this. He had problems hugging his older friend. Even the slight touch of their elbows had him on edge and the arm around his shoulders left him tense. But he wouldn't be seen acting like he was crushing on his band mate, no way. So he just repeated Jooheon, insisting that everything was okay and all right with him.

But then their manager started talking again. "I've talked it over with my boss just when you arrived today. That's why I wasn't mad. He said it was okay to include you two doing that and-"

As Hyungwon came back, holding the water, he interrupted him again. Hyungwon didn't like his manager but he couldn't quite show that. So being very arrogant and annoying around him was his outlet. He overheard their conversation.

"He wants you two to kiss, on camera. And as far as I know him, you're probably forced to do that half-naked."  
His statement punched the air out of his two friends and his manager had nothing to add than a slight 'Yep'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the short first two chapters but I tried to make this one longer. Anyway I'd be really happy about feedback! 
> 
> ♡


	4. 》three《

"No. I am not doing this, I can't!" He shouted. Changkyun wasn't even afraid of being heard by the other people outside of the bathroom. He just leaned against the door, more for moral than actual physical support, but his knees might as well turn to mush that wouldn't matter now, would it? 

Jooheon paced around the bathroom floor, now and then stopping and looking at the mirror, his hands clutching the sink. Probably for the same reason Changkyuns body was pressed up against the door. The younger one found himself sliding down, wantig to just sit on the floor and cry himself into a pitiful mess.  
But he didn't, he stood up as soon as he noticed Jooheons eyes on him. He was looking at him through the mirror and their gazes met briefly before Changkyun looked away. 

Jooheon didn't seem that outraged. He thought it was okay to play the flirty couple in one of their videos, he truly didn't mind. He thought it was okay, even when their manager told them the details, even when those involved a kiss. And even when Changkyun was so red and nearly started crying then and there, Jooheon didn't mind. But as he went to comfort his younger friend, he started being outraged. Not because of the video or the kiss or any of that, but because Changkyun slapped his hand away and ran off towards the bathrooms whispering "I need a minute." in a hoarse quiet voice.  
That was when Jooheon felt hurt and annoyed. The punching ache he felt in his chest when Changkyun looked at him was enough to make Jooheon follow him. The younger one didn't look hurt or disgusted in any way. He seemed scared, like a small deer running away from a hunter who's shot his first bullets against thin air.  
He felt a suddem urge to just leave the set. So he did, rushing off to the bathrooms himself without even saying a word to his bandmates. Not even his manager who had the right to force him to do anything, so it wasn't even their choice if they wanted to do something like this. They simply had to and ignoring authority like Jooheon liked to do, he didn't care and walked off. Luckily, he didn't need to pace around for long.  
He and Changkyun already passed the bathrooms once or twice when searching for their bandmates earlier that day. And when he finally found it and ripped the door open he was greeted by a shaking Changkyun gripping the sink for what seemed like support because it looked like his knees would just give up and he would collapse on the floor. But he didn't and regained his composure once he saw Jooheon. He put on a different emotion once he was aware of his company. This might've been the most infuriating thing, Jooheon finding out that Changkyun wasn't honest with him. But he ignored that, there were more important matters than this. 

And they were in the bathroom, pacing around, excanging a few sentences when Jooheon himself leaned on the sink and looked at Changkyun. Their eyes met for a brief second and Jooheon could see that his younger friend actually was a bit calmer than some time ago. That made him smile just the slightest bit. He would've looked at Changkyun just a bit longer but the younger one turned his head so Jooheon did the same. 

There was silence occupying the space next to the muted sounds coming from outside. The older rapper was tired of it, wanting the younger one to just open up to him. 

"Changkyun..."  
Jooheon calling his name sent shivers down his spine "it's alright, everything's ok. You don't have to do anything you don't want to." Actually he did. And Jooheon knew that, but it didn't matter right now. 

Changkyun calmed down a bit, he liked Jooheons voice. And no matter how insanely upset he was, the older one always managed to make him feel just the slightest bit better. And so he stepped forward, walking towards the sink and assuming the same position Jooheon had. They both looked into the mirror, their hands holding the edge of the big sink in front of them and both were looking at each other through the mirror. 

"Hey, are you ok?" Jooheon asked, a bit concerned by his friends lack of an answer. He inspected his posture, expression. The older one didn't find anything to stop him so he went and touched the younger ones shoulder. To reassure Changkyun he was still there for him and that everything would be okay.

Changkyun wasn't quite ready, he thought that Jooheon would be scared to even talk to him after the way he acted. But he didn't mind, he found Jooheons touch very soothing so he turned around and wrapped his arms around the other ones waist. Jooheon was quite irritated but again, didn't mind. He felt that Changkyun  
probably needed this so he hugged his friend for a few moments, being glad that he felt at least the slightest bit okay. Changkyun buried his head in between Jooheons neck and his shoulder. He just felt good whenever he got close to him. Whether that in itself was a good thing or not didn't concern him at that moment. The feeling of Jooheons arms around him was just the most calming feeling in the world.

They broke the embrace too early for both of them, but Changkyun felt that it was the right thing to do. He shook his head a bit, feeling the hard sink against his back.  
"I'm sorry Jooheon, I'm-" 

"It's okay." The older one looked at him with such compassion, Changkyun couldn't stop himself from smiling a bit. Even though he thought his actions prior were embarassing, extremely out of place and that he should've reacted differently he couldn't bring that up now. Jooheon would just cut him off. 

The older one grinned. "And playing a couple really is that bad for you?"  
Jooheon asked a bit mockingly. It wasn't anything mean. And actually, the longer Changkyun thought about it, it was probably Jooheons way of getting revenge for him saying he was scared too easily that morning. 

Regardless, Changkyun blushed a bit just at the thought of that and hid his embarassment by putting his hand over his eyes like he often did when he could't cope with a situation. 

"No it's okay, I don't mind." He quickly answered. He just hoped their manager wouldn't force them to do anything too crazy, or else he might have a problem later on set but he wouldn't think about that. 

"Then why...?" Jooheon interrupted Changkyuns thoughts quickly, looking confused. 

Of course Changkyun couldn't just say that he was 'actually in love with Jooheon and that,)in all fairness, is quite the problem when being forced to kiss'. He couldn't quite say that. So he took the chicken route, lying his way out of another embarassing situation.  
"I guess it was just a bit sudden. I was just shocked and besides, I couldn't eat remember? So I just felt dizzy." He was good at lying but when Jooheon was around he sounded like a five year old making up excuses for stealing candy. 

Jooheon looked at him, knowing that this was a lie. He knew that Changkyun knew but neither one nor the other said anything about it. 

"We should go." The younger one requested. And before Jooheon could say anything regarding that, Changkyun already turned around to open the door. But the older one didn't let him. He managed to grab his arm before Changkyun could leave because Jooheon did have something he was curious about. 

Changkyun didn't want to turn around but much rather just leave for his bed and be a sqeaking mess elsewhere. Jooheons grip on his wrist, which reminded him of some cheesy drama-scene, made things terribly worse. But he had to face the situation, so he did. 

"Everything okay?" He asked slowly while turning his head. 

Jooheon let go of his wrist once he was sure Changkyun wouldn't leave. The younger one turned around completely, facing his older friend. 

"Mhm, sure." Jooheon started, a smile creeping up onto his face. "But about you hoodie..." 

"My hoodie?" Changkyun asked. That was irritating. And weird? Why would Jooheon ask him about that? He went and looked into the mirror for a third time and didn't find anything unusual. It was a pastel pink hoodie, nothing unusual just Jooheons hoodie. 

Oh. 

He stared at this hoodie with a burning hatred now, how in the world didn't he notice. His face began turning red and he once again covered his eyes with his hands. Oh god.  
As Jooheon noticed the younger ones reaction he began laughing and pat his shoulder a few times, leaving his hand to rest there. 

"I'm so sorry I didn't notice." His hand muffled the words a bit but not enough to make them completely inaudible. He started looking up and his gaze met the mirror once again. His face was burning up and he did in fact had to come to terms with this situation. He had accidentally put on Jooheons hoodie. The day couldn't really get any better. And Jooheons hand that traveled down resting on his back now really didn't help. 

But Jooheon laughed, he seemed to find this very entertaining. He looked outright happy. God, Jooheon really was a good friend for putting up with Changkyuns shit all the time. 

"It's okay, it does suit you. It's just, unusual. You normally wear black." He remarked, chuckling a bit.  
"Just ask me next time you have nothing to wear." Now he was outright laughing again making Changkyun really want to die. 

"Okay Jooheonnie enough for today, let's leave already." Changkyun didn't want to answer anything regarding that piece of clothing. Why was it even in his room this morning? Or did he put it on after showering? How did he even? But his lack of sleep did serve as an explination as to how in the world he managed to completely embarass himself.

Jooheon gave him a pat on the back before exiting the bathroom with a still embarassed but generally calm Changkyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter, I was just noticing how cheesy it is I am so sorry haha ♡ 
> 
> Leave a comment if you want ♡


	5. 》four《

As they sat down next to their friends, both of them felt a sudden awkwardness between all of them. The conversation their manager and the 5 remaining bandmates had died down as soon as they noticed them leaving the bathroom. All of them were silent. If it weren't for the busy people around them, they could've sworn one could hear a pin drop. Everyone was just so utterly, quiet. Not even Minhyuk, who was usually the one to speak up in similar situations dared to say anything. It was like all of them didn't want to make things worse by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Shownu and Kihyun looked down at the floor, Kihyun fiddeling with a hat that so obviously belonged to Shownu. He must've grabbed it off of their leaders head while the ones all of that drama was about were gone. Hyungwon stared at his water. He placed the paper cup in his lap, winding his fingers around it and just stared at it. Like there was a different universe inside it, or as if he could sneak a glance at the ocean if he just pretended that it was the most interesting thing in the entire world. Minhyuk and Hoseok were staring out of the window where they just stood, waiting for Jooheon and Changkyun to arrive. And their manager, he looked at them. He didn't look apologetic or confused. His stare was blank, like he was just annoyed with the situation. Everyone working with him knew that when he was too fed up, when everything was too much and someone had stepped over one of his always moving lines, crossed one of his often changing boundaries, he'd completely lose inhibitons.  
It didn't happen often, but it happned. 

Changkyun looked around anxiously, his eyes moving from one face to the other before setteling on the floor. His fingers fiddeling with the sleeves of the stolen hoodie, pushing the sleeves forward over his knuckles. He was tired of the silence that seemed to haunt them. Once he lifted his head again and assumed a more confident position, placing his hands inside of the big front pocket of the borrowed hoodie he once again glanced around the few familiar people in front of him. His fake confidence made every head turn his way, closely watching his every move. 

"You know what? I don't care." A slight smile creeping onto his lips "let's do it, Jooheon." he finished, hooking his arm into the other one's and winking jokingly. His change of mind shocked some of his viewers, washing relief over others and making one in particular look at him contently. Changkyun managed to keep up his act but inernally he was screaming at everything at once. The way Jooheon looked at him, his reassuring smile and their arms locked in place made Changkyun smile even wider without realizing his lies were turning into something genuine. 

"Yes, we'll manage to act it out!" Jooheon approved through his grin. He wasn't happy to play a lovey-dovey couple with another guy but seeing the younger one with so much confidence just made him smile. Even though he knew that it didn't come from nowhere. But even if his confidence was a façade, his smile was honest. Jooheon could tell by the way Changkyuns eyes sparked a bit while glancing at him and the way he still clutched Jooheons hoodie in his free hand. 

After a few brief moments everyone seemed relieved, glad the 'dramatic moments' and the 'sad Changkyun' were over. 

"You'll do a great job, I'm so sure of that!" Minhyuk smiled at them as if he wanted the sun to get jealous at his happiness. 

"But isn't this a bit... over the top?" Shownu quietly asked, not wanting to disturb Minkyuks sudden burst of excitement. He earned a nod from Kihyun who also started questioning this new concept. 

"Yea, I agree? Is it really ok to present our group in such a way?" He mirrored Shownus expression, concerned frown and his brows furrowed together. 

"What? No way!!" An expected voice shouted in slight disregard of the people rushing around them, finally noticing their conversation and turning their heads at the volume of it before hurrying off as to do something seemingly more important. Before Minhyuk could ramble on further as to why this was a 'great' and 'creative' concept, Hyungwon who sat next to him, decided to take action. He grabbed the older vocalists thigh, hard. Squeezing it until he heard a slight whimper and a hushed "I hate you so much" from the other boy. 

Ignoring Minhyuks comment, he raised his hand running it through his hair and leaning back against the cushion of the white sofa he, his older nemesis and Hoseok were sitting on.  
Leaning with his underarm on the armrest and looking like he escaped out of a high-fashion magazine, he decided to be part of the conversation. 

"Shownu, Kihyun, I don't understand why it's that weird? They're just like any other couple. A lot of mixed groups do things like that, why can't we?" he asked, his free hand excentuating the words with some movements then and there. 

"No no, god it's not that!" Shownu answered, earning a confused glance from Hyunwon. He looked offended, nearly shocked that he got misunderstood that badly. "It's the kissing in general. Our concepts normally don't focus on romance. It'll be a change. I hope the fans won't mind it..." he drifted of thoughtfully. 

A forgotten Hoseok who didn't care for anything regarding the ongoing conversation started to quietly chuckle next to Minhyuk. He moved his lips, smirking into the round of people, slowly letting his head turn towards Jooheon and Changkyun. 

"Oh I am so sure they won't mind! They'll be completely crazy about it!" He finished off by raising his brows suggestively and then poking jooheons ribs a few times while starting to burst into a fit of laughter.  
Sure they won't mind. 

The athmosphere grew a lot calmer once Hoseok let his charms do the trick and everyone started to at least giggle at his actions, even their manager. While he may have faked it to keep Hoseok pleased, it still counted. Except for Minhyuk and Kihyun. Minhyuk's laugh was so loud, Hyungwon had to shut him up again resulting in a slap on the back of his head and an angry Minhyuk looking annoyed.  
But Kihyun didn't laugh. He looked rather concerned, a now nearly permanent look on his face. 

"I don't think this is such a great idea." he said, exhaling deeply. Everyone quieted down a bit, Hoseok losing his smile and the athmosphere around them cooling down slightly.

"I don't think a lot of people will like it. It's too out there. I'm not saying we'll have to make conservative videos but ..." he started and looked straight at their manager, ignoring the rather questioning faces he was surrounded with. "... I don't know if it's a good idea to present ourselves in that way." 

"I don't care, Kihyun." Their manager finally speaking up, making everyone quite speechless around him. "Society is getting more accepting, things like that are provocative, it'll help us. The people won't see anything more than a concept created by a company to sell an album. And that's it. Calm down, okay." He shot him a reassuring look before putting his hand on his knee and standing up. 

"And I don't want you fuzzing over everything, you're professionals. Act like it." he finished. His words hit each and every one of them but as he started his last sentence, his head turned straight to the youngest one. It was a warning look, something that could reappear in your nightmares. 

Changkyun sharply sucked in breath and nodded slowly as his whole body tensed up. Oh god, he really was embarrased at how he acted. Unexpectedly, Jooheon noticed how the younger ones arm tensed up, still connected to his. He unhooked it and squeezed Changkyuns hand lightly before putting his own into his jacket. The one in question felt small tingles running down his spine and everywhere Jooheon touched him he felt like soda bubbles were beneath his skin. He relaxed at the friendly gesture and shot his neighbor a small shy smile that made Jooheons heart quicken for just the tinyest amount if time. 

"Okay! Everyone!" Their manager began talking again, now even louder making sure the people over at the makeup and costume place could hear him. "We're starting in 10, I want the choreographers and directors to talk everything through with our performers before we start makeup is that clear?" His voice didn't tremble, keeping up a leading tone. Everyone that coud hear him listened closely at his words, some nodding, some humming in approvement. 

"This is going to be fun!" Hoseok quietly whispered while no one could hear them. He had that suggestive expression again and mimicked their managers hand movement which made everyone smile. He knew when the right time for mockery came and used that wisely, he did have charm, everyone had to agree. 

While listening to their manager ramble and once in a while glancing over at Hoseok, Changkyun noticed Jooheon looking at him. He felt a light poke hit his arm and then he turned his head. Jooheon was smiling at him, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. And because of that smile, that cursed smile Changkyun wasn't doubting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HeEY ♡ 
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, I was a bit caught up in studying for a spanish exam so I couldn't finish it 'on time'. But I got something out haha ♡ 
> 
> Also: I've really gotten into Joogun lately and I was sure to include our beloved #GUN at some point as Jooheons ex? I'm really not sure so if you have opinions on that I'd love to hear them. Imma make him super sweet just so you know it bcs tbh #GUN is great??? ? 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and have a great day ♡♡♡♡


	6. 》five《

"Okay, listen! Jooheon and Changkyun, I want you two for a talk outside of the dressing area in a few, okay?" He asked with stern expression, both of them turning their heads in surprise. 

"They don't have much of a choice, do they?" Hoseok shouted, he must've listned to their orders. But he was right, anyone questioning their director was doomed to have a bad day. They learnt that the hard way back in their debut days when Minhyuk was a bit brattier and didn't get along with some of them. He especially disliked Hyungwon which led to him whining about everything just to make the other one mad. And when their director had enough of it, he sent him out to 'run away his annoying whines' or else he would've given him something rediculous to wear. He was a nice guy but annoyed by everything, it didn't help that he was one of the most sarcastic people the boys knew. But with their manager finally gone for the day, the athmosphere felt a lot calmer. 

"Okay, we'll get out once I'm done with makeup." Jooheon calmly said, smiling at him through the mirror he sat in front of. 

All of them got their makeup and hair done at the same time, which led to some interesting scenes playing out. Hoseoks shouting was one thing, but once one of them startsed singing it was over and the staff and makup artists started looking like they wanted to kill each and every one of them. But nothing happened that time, the exhaustion showing it's trademarks with most of them sipping watery coffee and yawning every now and then. Changkyun was also convinced that Hyungwon was sleeping in the corner but he wouldn't get into that. 

He sat across from Jooheon on the other side of the room, their backs facing each other. But Changkyun could look at the older one through the big mirror in front of him. He nearly abused that opportunity, staring at his friend nearly the whole time. He could swear sometimes, out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Jooheon staring back at him. But that was just him being stupid and observing things way too intensely before paying them no intention one minute to the other. He finished earlier than Jooheon did, sitting in his chair a bit and mostly talking to staff. Once he saw his friend leave his chair he did the same, walking after him towards the dreaded conversation with their producer. 

It felt like 'the talk'. Something Changkyun desperately wanted to avoid but knew that he couldn't. And the fact Jooheon wouldn't be leaving his side wasn't something that made the situation any better. He sped up, quickly catching up to Jooheon. The older one only noticed him then, looking a bit startled by the younger ones sudden appearance. Flashing a quick smile, both of them hurried off to a conersation they didn't want to listen to. 

Back at the catering place, their director waited patiently, sipping coffee like every person in the entire complex. Seeing Jooheon and Changkyun he waved quickly, gesturing for them to sit down again. So they did, both rappers seated across from their director that seemed so much more prepared than the two of them. He layed down his coffee, looking at the two of them. Neither one of them knew what to expect, being met with a good work ethic and loose morals was probably the ultimate goal there. But neither Changkyun nor Jooheon knew what to say and how to say it. Both of them left the thought of kissing the other buried at the back of their minds as soon as they were told. Changkyun only confident when acting so and Jooheon generally never letting anyone see weakness, they both thensed up at the thought of being so intimate with the other. Even if it was just something they were forced to do, they still dreaded the time after everything. Changkyun especially. He wanted to bury this impending crush of his somewhere deep down where no one could ever find it. Throw it into the deepest sea, maybe burn it or send it to space somewhere. He hated everything about it. From the unrequited love part to the fact that it was just plain wrong and he could destroy their group completely if acting on it. 

"Now, you know what the deal is, don't you?" The director spoke up, making Changkyun snap his head back up. He was entirely gone for a few moments and both of the other people seemed to notice it. While the director blamed it on nervousness, Jooheon was actually concerned, putting his hand on Changkyuns thigh. 

Both of the rappers nodded slowly, waiting for their director to finsih his small speech. 

"Now the thing is" he says. "You being uncomfortable, I get it. I don't like this stuff either. But you have to get a grip of yourselves and do as you are told."  
His voice changing, sounding much more confident in his words. 

"You know the general concept of the video, we already talked that through." He continued.  
"But _that_ scene, we didn't."

His eyes darting from one listener to the other, searching for any kind of reaction. But the two just listened intently, not saying a word. Jooheons hand was still resting on Changkyuns thigh, giving him some kind of comfort even though he could sense that Jooheon wasn't all that confident himself. 

"Now, when the time comes, relax. Try to act it out and take your time." He hesitated for a brief moment before continuing. "Changkyun, you're going to be hurt badly and Jooheon is the one who tries to save you. But you already know that" 

Both boys nodded slowly. "That sounds angsty." Changkyun whispered with a chuckle, kind of in disbelief of the situation. The director laughed a bit at that, happy to have recieved any kind of answer to his words. 

"But in that version you're going to kiss each other before the scene ends. So it's not a big difference in the parts you'll be acting out. Well there is one scene that's new, but it's nothing too difficult." 

"Well then it's going to be easy. I thought you'd change the whole concept." Jooheon answered confidently, even though his hand tensed on Changkyuns thigh before it slid off completely. 

"Mhm, that's how your manager intended it to be, but I didn't think it would be a good idea." Grabbing his coffee, he recieved a nod of both Changkyun and Jooheon before standing up and making his way over to both of them. 

"Glad to have that out of the way. I know you don't want to do this, it's weird I get it, but at least try."

And then he left. 

-

He felt Jooheons breath on his cheek, his legs intertwined with his, making every touch they shared quicken his heartbeat just a bit. Jooheon slid his fingers down Changkyuns back, pushing and pulling at his suit jacket.  
The weight of the older ones head on his shoulder made him dizzy and the fact that he could feel the words leaving Jooheons mouth as he moved it left him breathless. 

They were standing next to a wall, Jooheons back pressed against it, Changkyun in front of him, pinning him against it with his own body. Jooheons head laid against his shoulder, moving around as he lipsynced to their new track. But Changkyuns ear was so close, they were so close he could hear Jooheon giving in and saying his words out loud, with every movement brushimg against the other, sending shivers down his spine and making him feel like flying over and over again. 

Changkyun couldn't take it any longer, the intimacy, the warm body pressed against the wall, his legs pushing in between the other ones. He started feeling hot himself. Whether that was due to his newly acquired suit or Jooheon was anybodys guess. Jooheon mouthed the last few words of his verse and grabbed Changkyuns waist before turning them around in a swift motion. Changkyun felt dizzy again, this time due to the sudden movement. He saw cameras moving around them, the music slowly coming to a halt as Jooheon pressed their foreheads together. Even as the music stopped they remained against the wall, Changkyuns back pressed against it now, Jooheons fingers still lingering on the other ones waist. They looked into each others eyes even though the gesture couldn't be seen by the cameras. It wasn't nessesary but the two did it anyway. Their gazes remained on the other ones features until Changkyun couldn't take it anymore. Everything was too much and he looked away, leaning slightly to the left and trying not to blush too severly. 

" _Cut! That was great! And now round two, we need three more different angles!_

They parted from each other, Jooheon looking tired and worn out. He panted slightly and started running his finger through his white hair. This was a sight Changkyun could get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! It's all over the place, but I swear it's gonna get 'interesting' in the next one. And I'm sorry it's taking me so long, I had german and spanish exams that have been killing me lmao 
> 
> Thanks for reading ♡


	7. 》six《

They did three more takes, two dance sequences with different angles, background dancers and locations. They had one break and a teaser left before _the_ scene was supposed to happen. But the break was long and all of them had the whole afternoon to spend because apparently the shooting would continue at evening.

Nobody seemed to recognize what the youngest one was going through, not even Jooheon who seemed to enjoy his break, quietly slurping his drink. Whatever it was, Changkyun couldn't tell, probably even more coffee. He watched Jooheon take the cup into his hands, tilting it a bit and connecting it to his lips. He watched Jooheons throat move when he gulped the liquid down. And as if it were a dream, something entirely scripted to perfection, a small droplet of liquid ran down his chin, continuing his trail down. Jooheon looked so good in the things he was told to wear. Both of them were in suits for the prior part of shooting. While Jooheon didn't mind the uncomfortable attire, Changkyun couldn't stand it and changed into shorts and the pink hoodie again. He could've borrowed something more comfortable from the stylists but he liked how the fabric felt against his skin, so he decided to put it on again. There was also the fact that it belonged to Jooheon which made it ten times more comfortable. 

His staring continued on before an exhausted Minhyuk catched his attention, noisily dropping onto the couch next to him and Kihyun, who was passionately trying to ignore the youngest. 

"Well Changkyun." Minhyuk started, putting an arm around him and raising his feet so that they sat on the table in front of him. 

"You look like shit, I'm not going to lie." He said in a too friendly way. Changkyun was startled, not expecting something like this from his older friend. He seemed okay, not really bothered by the comment. But Kihyun looked entirely different. He shot both of them a warning glance before focusing on Minhyuk, who immediately put his hand up to his mouth, acting all innocent. 

"Your vocabulary is terrible, someone could be streaming and catching it, you know?" He said annoyed, pointing over to Hyungwon and Hosek who started making videos for their social media because they didn't know what to do. Contrary to the others, the dancer and the gym-maniac weren't exhausted by the constant repeating of the choreography.

"Oops, I'm sorry, mother." He joked, leaning forward while his arm remained behind Changkyun. Kihyun looked at him warningly for just a bit further and then returned to his phone, his face mildly annoyed. 

"Back to you, Kyunnie." Minhyuk said playfully, his hand finding Chankyuns neck. He glanced around the room, his comment generally not gaining the attention from anyone. The singer searched around for a pair of eyes and found them soon, brown, deep, trying not to stare at the two of them. Small streaks of bleached, white hair framing them. 

Jooheon was trying to focus, he really was but with something that big coming up and Minhyuk winding his arm around Changkyun there was a strain on his self control. They apparently talked but he didn't understand the words, just saw Minhyuks mouth move and smitk at Changkyun in all the wrong ways. Oh how dead he was. Jooheon didn't know why but he felt like Minhyuk was mocking their youngest. No not Changkyun, mocking him. He felt Minhyuks eyes on him all the time, especially when he tried to passionately ignore Changkyun. 

"You look like you haven't slept at all." Minhyuk quietly said, trying to hide his comment from Kihyun who so obvioulsy heard it. His hand didn't leave the younger ones neck, it even started slightly moving around, stroking a bit, massaging just the slightest. 

Changkyun didn't mind. It was friendly, Minhyuk was friendly with everyone. He always hugged his friends, draped arms over bodies and if Changkyun was honest grabbed his butt a few times. But that's Minhyuk and nobody can tell Minhyuk what to do because he'll just do it again but _louder_. And also, Changkyun didn't want him to stop. It was relaxing and he definetely needed some bit of comfort. 

"Because I didn't if I'm honest." Almost too innocently, Changkyun ignored the stares between Jooheon and Minhyuk, that were very apparent when talking with him. Minhyuk snapped his head at him slowly at his sudden answer and gasped dramatically, as if being in a play. 

"Oh really Changkyun? That's too bad, our baby can't sleep!" He said mockingly, reaching out and pinching the younger ones cheek. He let his hand linger just a bit too long, touched along Changkyuns chest a bit too obviously when letting it fall into his lap again. 

"It's okay I guess." Changkyun answered, a bit uncomfterable at the topic. He didn't know if it was Kihyun that made him nervous or the fact that Minhyuk really wanted attention and started draping his knee over Changkyuns, making Minhyuk nearly sit in his lap. It was a sudden, swift motion but Minhyuk could still hear Jooheon choke on his drink when he looked over. But he didn't stop, why would he? It was Minhyuk, he wouldn't ever stop. 

"Jooheon, everything okay?" He shouted across the room, bringing his hand up to his mouth. Again, making everything more dramatic. The rapper in question just looked at him like he didn't know what Minhyuk was talking about even though he would really want to go over there and question his elder. But he didn't, it would only cause a scene. Because no one seemed to care, everyone sitting around them saw something usual playing out. As if this situation wasn't a scene already. 

"Oh! I know Changkyun! Let's take a picture, the fans'll love it!" He suddenly half-shouted, only loud enough for Jooheon to hear. His smile was wide as ever, looking like an innocent ray of sunshine. Changkyun flinched at the loud noise right next to his ear but nodded quickly when he saw Minhyuk pout. Nobody could say no to a dissapointed Minhyuk.

Jooheon didn't know why or how but he didn't feel good seeing them together like this. He knew Minhyuk was just friendly, hell. He woke him up with kisses once, it's just Minhyuk. But for some reason he didn't feel well when Changkyun looked okay with Minhyuk basically draping himself over him. Jooheon watched him take out his phone and lean closer to Changkyun, their cheeks pressing together. There was a weird feeling in Jooheons stomach, something he didn't experience before. It was unusual, felt horrible and he was sure that it wouldn't go away soon. He had to do something, not sure why he felt the need to. 

But when he saw Minhyuk leaning even closer, pressing a kiss to the other ones cheek, even going as far as letting his eyes flicker from the camera to Jooheon, he'd deemed it too much. It was just too much, he took the picture, letting his lips linger on his friend's skin for a bit longer than needed for it to be just because of a picture. And then, finally, he leaned back again, the knot in Jooheons stomach loosening a bit. 

Changkyun just continued smiling at the camera, happy with the picture. It was just Minhyuk, right? Nothing weird about it. And he had to admit that both of them looked hella cute and the lightning was great, too. So why be upset? He didn't notice Jooheons statring, didn't notice his struggles and again didn't notice when he stood up, making his way over to both of them. He was so happy that Minhyuk made him less nervous, served as a distraction, that he was really startled when Jooheon spoke up.

"Hey guys, let me join!" He suggested. His voice seemed so happy, almost eerily cheery. Minhyuk's grin grew even wider than before, even though Changkyuns smile started to fade just the slightest bit. Maybe at the shock, maybe because he had to control himself to not be a sqeaming mess every time he and Jooheon took pictures together. 

"That's a great idea, Kihyun, wanna join?" Minhyuk smiled, looking at the member next to Changkyun, already epecting the inevitable 'no'. And he was granted the satisfaction of foresight when Kihyun stood up, shaking his head.

"Next time, promise. I just took off my make-up." Kihyun said, heading over to the table Jooheon sat on just a few moments prior. He took a seat right next to Shownu, who immeadiately started talking to him. He really was the only one who could understand Kihyun properly. Jooheon smiled at the two of them, happy that Kihyun started smiling at a joke Shownu made. He turned his attention back to the free seat, not really knowing what to do or why he even wanted to interrupt Chankyun and Minhyuk in the first place. Sure, he wanted Minhyuk to go away fron his younger friend, but why? And wanting to take a picture with them was something he asked for without even thinking about it.

Changkyun was just as confused when Jooheon sat down next to him, leaning in close to get into the frame. His chest was pressed against Changkyuns back and he started smiling when he noticed Changkyun backing away from Minhyuk. The reason the younger rapper was doing so wasn't because he actually felt the need to, but mainly because Jooheon had casually wrapped his arm around Changkyuns waist, pushing him backwards. Jooheon didnt really notice where exactly his arm was, he did it instinctively, without thinking. The younger one was sure that the intimate gesture wasn't something Jooheon did to embarass Changkyun but he sure as hell managed to do it when he remembered _whose_ piece of clothing he was wearing. 

He physically had to stop himself from getting up and running away as soon as he felt Jooheon's cheeck against his shoulder. It was too much, just too much and he tried to grip onto the sofa they sat on. But he missed by a few centimeters and his arm ended up on Jooheon's thigh. The older one could see himself blushing in the camera after he noticed Changkyuns hand. The younger one quickly mumbled a sorry and raised it up, only to put it back down a few moments later. Again, he wasn't going to let his chance of feeling Jooheons thigh just go away like that. If anyone asked, he did it for fanservice, just plain old fanservice because everyone would believe that, right?

What was he even trying to do at this point? 

"Jooheon, stop moving around so much! Okay guys one... two..." and Minhyuk took a picture, and another one and some more after that. At the end of their impromptu photo session, Minhyuk was completely off of Changkyun with a wide grin. Jooheon only noticed the position they were in when Changkyun started swiping through their new photos. They looked great, their makeup, clothes and again, great lighting. But then again they were extremely close, making both of them quite uncomfortable for some peculiar reason. 

"You two look like you are about to make out." Minhyuk nagged and pointed at an especially embarrasing picture. Jooheon had his head buried in Changkyuns shoulder and the younger one himself looked back at his friend. It looked way more intimate than it actually was, Jooheon was about to turn his head around and Changkyun looked at something _entirely_ different. But of course Minhyuk's photographing skills were exceptional so he even managed to make an innocent scene like this look wrong. 

"Well, you are but..." he trailed off.  
Minhyuk smiled and elbowed Changkyuns shoulder, forcing him to answer.

"We're deleting that picture-" and he pushed the 'delete' button on Minhyuks phone. To his dismay, his elder managed to yank it out of the youngest ones hands quick enough for it to not be deleted. 

"I don't think so, Kyunnie!" Minhyuk stood up, taking a step backwards. "We're posting that! It's great promo!" he smiled again, his grin growing even wider and walked away.

There was no point in running after him, even though Changkyun really wanted to. So Jooheon and him were left alone on the sofa in complete silence. The nickname still had a negative aftertaste in Jooheons opinion, but it wasn't as bad anymore. Changkyun on the other hand felt really out of place and extremely nervous all of a sudden. When he was with Minhyuk, everything felt friendly and playful but even the slightest things Jooheon did made him go crazy. 

"I liked it." Jooheon said slowly, earning a quick glance from Changkyun. Both were sitting side by side, their shoulders touching but not as intimate as before. And Jooheon did, he liked the picture. It was cute and all of them looked really good. But it looked kind of wrong and really _really_ intimate, he had to admit. 

'I liked it'. _I liked it._  
Changkyun was dizzy just at Jooheons words, but he wouldn't get any hopes up, Jooheon would never. 

"Mh, the lighting was great I guess." Chankyun hastily answered, quickly looking at the wall next to Jooheon and then back at the floor again. He looked nervous, he knew that. 

"Is everything ok? It's because of the video, isn't it?" Jooheon asked quietly, as if asking something completely embarrasing. But as the younger one raised his head a bit he saw Jooheon staring out of the window on the other side of the room and actually smiling. That was unsusual. Changkyun didn't know why or how Jooheon was so incredibly calm but if the jumpiest-most-easily-scared rapper in the world could get his nerves together, so could Changkyun. He straigtened up a bit, looking directly at Jooheon. 

"No I just didn't sleep, it's not because of our scene." He said with new found confidence. Not sleeping was his excuse for everything that day, luckily Jooheon didn't hear Minhyuk and his conversation. Changkyun himself didn't get how Jooheon could make him so nervous and calm at the same time. He really had crazy effects on him.

"Oh. Okay." 

"Yea." 

Okay maybe it was because of their scene that they were so incredibly awkward around each other. Both of them were fiddeling around with something. Whether it was Changkyun with his stolen hoodie or Jooheon, unbottoning and re-buttoning the sleeves of his dress shirt.

"Guys! Guys!" Minhyuk shouted, running around in a hurry. "Guess who decided to come grant us with their presence?" 

Both rappers turned their heads at the sudden noise, not really surprised at it's source. Minhyuk was always the one to scream first. But he apparently came bearing gifts as he stumbled into the view of Changkyun and Jooheon with a familiar face. Someone they recognized from way back when. Old times, No.Mercy times.

Gunhee. 

Jooheon gulped as he stared at his friend, not really believing anything at this point. He got up even before Changkyun noticed, basically dashed in Gunhees direction and hugged him like his life depended on it. Both of them stumbled back a bit before parting again. They grinned like maniacs and started laughing out of nowhere. 

"It's good to see you again." Jooheon said, turning around to shout at the room. 

"Gunhee's came to visit us, what a miracle." At that he earned an elbow in his ribs and another burst of laughter at Gunhees reaction.

And when Changkyun noticed what was happening, he felt just the slightest knot in his stomach as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hEy good to see I'm still alive, huh? 
> 
> Okay okay, I'm so so sorry for not posting but school is a thing that exists. Even though I have some good news. There is a storm where I live and apparently the rooftop of my school flew off so I won't have lessons this week until monday. That means I'll try to update at least two or three chapters while I'm free ♡ 
> 
> Also Gunhee? Is? Perfect? And I really wanted to include him, sorry if it feels forced. And also go Minhyuk? He's Jookyun shipper number one I am so sorry


	8. 》seven《

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I should apologize or say that this is good news but this chapter is twice as long as the other ones, so have fun reading haha ♡

"Okay, no. But really, why are you here again?" Hyungwon asked in disbelief. He wasn't mad or anything just slightly confused at the circumstances. He walked off, grabbing a coat before Gunhee could answer, returning a few seconds later. 

"I saw Minhyuks post and thought I'd visit. I'm not staying long, I know you're in the middle of shooting." He answered, exiting the building. Everyone soon followed, until all eight of them stood in front of the main entrance. 

"Minhyuk told me you had some time so I figured I'd show up." He smiled, glancing around a few times before clapping his hands together and smiling even wider. 

"I know a place, it has the _best_ ramyun you'll ever eat. It's my treat, since I'm distracting all of you from your work." Gunhee laughed at the cheerful reaction. Hoseok seemed most excited at his plans, nobody knew why. He looked so cheery it was scary. The members started questioning him but he just waved them off with a 'thank god Gunhee exists, the catering is trash'. Minhyuk was the only one that didn't seem surprised, having to deal with Hoseoks ramyun obsession on a daily basis. They were roommates after all. 

The place was a small, cozy restaurant named Takedo. As Gunhee promised, they arrived after just walking a few minutes. It seemed like a family-buisness which turned out to be true as Gunhee greeted the owners. He seemed to know them, which wasn't a surprise. Jooheon remembered the times he had been out with his friend, walking around for hours, just talking and looking at the sky before settling on a place to eat. They always chose a different restaurant back then but Gunhee always knew the owners or at least one employee working there. Until that point, Jooheon thought that the other rapper had a small circle of friends, wasn't extroverted at all but Gunhee actually knew a lot of people. It set Jooheon off at first, not knowing how or why but he got used to it after a while.

The small place was busy but the owners found them a table at the end of the restaurant. While everyone sat down and made themselves comfortable, Gunhee continued on talking to one guy who looked like a waiter.

Changkyun didn't sit next to Jooheon. He did it on purpose, not wanting to witness everything that happened between Gunhee and him. Instead, he opted for the chair next to Minhyuk that was right in front of the one he tried to avoid. It was hard ignoring Jooheon waiting for Gunhee like that.  
Changkyun always knew that they were close, very close. Since his arrival a few years ago he noticed the two rappers and the way they were always together. It didn't bother him much back then, nothing important. But as Changkyun started talking to Jooheon, ever since he opened up to him on that stupid TV show, he started feeling things that were not okay. And with those feelings came a small, tiny hatred for Gunhee. Changkyun didn't want to be a bad person, hiding his feelings as much as he could but still, seeing them together that much hurt. 

It still hurt. While the others talked and made fun of things, Changkyun couldn't really relax. His eyes were pinned on Jooheon who sadly didn't notice it. He was still looking back at Gunhee, Changkyun could only see the back of his head. The other members at the table started to notice. Not that Changkyun was staring at Jooheon, but that he was quiet. Especially after they made fun of each other, the youngest member usually joined in, being the brat he was. But he didn't, he just stared ahead, questioning everything. Because he shouldn't hate Gunhee, Gunhee was a good person. He was Jooheons friend and he made Jooheon happy. And if Jooheon was happy, Changkyun was happy, too. Even though he couldn't ignore the aching feeling in his stomach that slowly came back with each minute Jooheon looked at his friend and not him. 

"Kyunnie, Kyunnie! You look like you've been through war! Is everything alright?" Minhyuk asked, again wrapping an arm around the youngest ones shoulders. 

"Hm?" Changkyun hummed, his head snapping back at Minhyuk. As his eyes darted around the table, he noticed that every member was looking at him. Him being quiet was quite the attraction, apparently. 

"Yea, I'm okay." He forced himself to smile as genuinely as he could muster. 

"I'm just-" He paused.

"Just tired, that's all." And he was. It wasn't a lie anymore, he actually was tired. After not sleeping and the whole video thing he was just exhausted. And the fact that he had to continue in a few hours made him even more tired. Not to mention _what_ he had to continue with. 

"Yes, I figured. Please try to rest a bit when we come back to our location, okay?" Kihyun worryingly said. Changkyun nodded at that and his elders face relaxed. 

The attention on Changkyun started to fade when Gunhee came back to the table, taking the only unoccupied seat next to Jooheon. They immediately smiled at each other and Changkyun wanted to puke. 

The waiter Gunhee talked to came a few minutes after, taking their orders and bringing them drinks. Changkyun relaxed a bit, as the group got into talking. They mainly talked about Gunhee and his debut some time ago. He was a good rapper, Changkyun had to admit. But better than him? No, not in a thousand years. 

"Hey, Jooheon, Changkyun. We should make a song together sometime. I bet it'll sound great!" Gunhee suggested, mostly joking around. He nuged Jooheons arm and started drinking the thing the waiter brought them a few moments ago. Whatever it was, Changkyun wanted to punch it out of his hands. Thank god he didn't. 

Making a track with both Gunhee and Jooheon was something Chankyun couldn't even imagine doing. It would sound great, their voices were practically made for collaborating. But the less time he had to look at Jooheon and Gunhee together, the easier everything would be for him.

"Your schedule is quite busy, isn't it Changkyun?" Hoseok answered for him, grinning in a way Changkyun knew meant nothing good. 

"Haven't you heard, Gunhee?" Hoseok asked at the rappers surprised face. Waiting until he had Gunhees full attention before he glanced around a last time, building the tension dramatically. All eight of them were silent even though most of them knew what Hoseok was hinting at. 

"Heard what?" Gunhee asked, his patience slowly fading. 

"Starship wants our lovely Jooheon and Chankyun to make out for our new music video." Hyungwon said blankly just as Hoseok opened his mouth. Both visuals looked at each other. But while Hyungwon seemed content with enraging Hoseok, he seemed much more annoyed at the stigma surrounding that scene. 

"Ah, really Hyungwon? You killed my suspence, I wanted to make it seem like really shocking for Gunhee." Hoseok shot back, laughing even though he was trying to seem angry. 

"Well, it's not something shocking! It's a kiss on camera, why is everyone so outraged?" The visual asked after briefly rolling his eyes. He looked at Hoseok but immediately started to burst into laughter as his friend started imitating him. 

" _It's not something shocking_ " he said, mocking Hyungwon. 

" _I'm Hyungwon and I can't take a joke._ " Hoseok finished, earning laughter from all of them. He turned his head, looking at Gunhee again.

"I know that it's nothing big, but what do you think?" He asked enthusiastically. Gunhee seemed a bit surprised at the sudden question but shortly after looked like he was thinking about it. His eyes flickered back and forth from Jooheon to Changkyun and then to Hoseok. 

"Honestly?" He asked rethorically "I think the fans will love it. They always freak out over stuff like that." Laughing, he glanced at Jooheon who didn't seem as enthusiastic as the other members. 

"But Gunhee" Minhyuk interrupted "you have to admit it'll be the cutest thing ever." His arm, that had remained on Changkyuns shoulders, pushed the young rapper towards him and he pinched his cheek again. 

"We do have the best Maknae." Changkyun looked like he wanted to die right at this point of the conversation. He hated being called 'maknae' but then again, it wasn't the worst thing. And apart from that, if anyone but Minhyuk called him that, he would've protested. But Minhyuk was someone nobody could talk back to. As he looked up again, freeing himself from his clingy friend, he noticed Jooheon looking at him. He looked annoyed at best, outraged fit more properly. Changkyun didn't know why, maybe because of the topic at hand or Minhyuks comment. But whatever it was, Changkyun didn't mind. He wanted to see Jooheon happy, yes, but he himself felt horrible, so he wouldn't even think about cheering his elder up. Even though Jooheons troubled expression wasn't exactly Changkyuns favorite. Gunhee noticed, too. He was a bit surprised, but as Jooheons eyes met his friends, he smiled again. To Changkyuns dismay. 

"I woudn't call it cute." Gunhee answered, continuing to look into Jooheons eyes. He averted his gaze, focusing on Minhyuk once again. 

"A bit unusual, I guess." And Changkyun saw the other rapper looking at him just briefly, returning to the rest of the members. Gunhee smiled again, this time not in a mocking way, he looked like he finally figured something out. Like he knew something the others didn't.

Before anyone could comment on that, the waiter brought out the food. All eight of them were way too focused on their ramyun to even think about conversation. A few blurts of 'that's really good' and 'Gunhee you're the best' were thrown around but nothing significant. After all of them were done, they sat in silence for a while. Hoseok looking content as always. And even Shownu, who had basically one expression and Kihyuk, who seemed angry most of the time looked happy. 

"Gunhee, that saved my day!" Hoseok said, smiling at the rapper in question. He quickly mumbled a 'glad to know that' in Hoseoks direction. 

"Ah, you know what this reminds me of?" Jooheon interrupted, looking at Gunhee. His eyes were bright and full of memories. Changkyun hated the way Jooheon looked at him. The young rapper hated that they had memories together Changkyun didn't know about. He desperately wanted to know everything about his friend and Gunhee started serving as an outlet for his cowardness. He listened closely while the other ones beside him started engaging in some kind of discussion about food. He tried not to show it, but he didn't want to miss a word Changkyun and Jooheon were saying. 

"Mh, what?" Gunhee asked back, mostly humming while trying to eat the last bit of ramyun in his bowl. 

"Remember when we went out and got lost so badly we ended up in Busan?" Jooheons voice was light, barely audible. His face was happy and full of compassion. He really loved the time with Gunhee. Changkyun sat there, acting like he continued eating even though he was full. 

"Yes! Yes! And you bought me ramyun to make up for missing the station? God, those were times..." Gunhee turned his head to look at Jooheon again, his hand moving from the table to the other rappers thigh. Changkyun couldn't quite see where exactly Gunhees hand went, but he really didn't want to confirm his suspicion.

"Mhh and we stayed there until we had to take the last train home! Remember living in that dorm? I sometimes miss those times." Jooheon mentioned, slowly looking down at his lap and then back up again, meeting Gunhees eyes. He furrowed his brows but let go of that expression once the other rapper smiled at him. 

"I know, I miss it, too. Do you remember that night? The one we went to Itewan together, only a few days before your debut?" Gunhee asked quietly. He seemed quite out of it, his thoughts wandering off, probably thinking about the past. Changkyun saw him look away from Jooheon, his head turning downwards a bit. He wasn't quite frowning but he might as well could've since his face basically screamed that he was thinking about something sad. His eyes searched for something, darting up and down Jooheons chest before his brows furrowed and his gaze settled on Changkyun. 

"Yea, I remember." Jooheon whispered, his voice was barely audible. Changkyun had to really concentrate to catch the words. Jooheon didn't look at Gunhee either, they both focused on the table in front of them, trying really hard not to look at each other. 

"I get it now, Jooheon. You could've told me who it was." Gunhee said really quietly, Changkyun couldn't hear it anymore. The young rapper just saw Gunhees mouth form syllables and that his arm moved. What he couldn't have seen was that his hand slowly found Jooheons. As their fingers touched, Jooheon looked a bit startled but figured to not do anything about it. The rapper squeezed his friends hand before letting go of him completely. 

"You'll have to excuse me for the bathroom, I'll be right back." Gunhee noted all of a sudden. Changkyun was as confused as Jooheon was but the others didn't seem to notice anything unusual. Gunhee leaned towards Jooheon, placing a hand on his shoulder and muttering a quiet 'it's okay, I get it' before glancing at Changkyun again. And then he left, walking towards the bathrooms. The youngest member heard a 'have fun there' and some chuckles and saw Gunhee flash Hyungwon a smile before he was gone completely.

The look Gunhee gave Chankyun was not something the young rapper expected. It was a shy, quick glance, not as confident as Gunhee appeared usually. It made Changkyun want to question him. But he didn't want to do that in front of the others, not in front of Jooheon. Even though he didn't catch the last bit of their conversation and even though Gunhee really wasn't Changkyuns buisness, he was curious. And knowing how busy he would be when they came back to the shoot, he did what he thought was the right thing. 

"Uh yea, I have to go, too. Be right back!" Changkyun said before dashing off to the bathrooms. 

He didn't look back, didn't want to see his friends expression, especially not Jooheons. He just walked until he found the Bathroom door and opened it. To his surprise, Gunhee was standing in front of him, leaning his hip against the big sink to Changkyuns right. The younger one hadn't known what to expect, but he surely didn't expect that. 

"I knew you'd come after me, you're really predictable." Gunhee remarked, looking Changkyun up and down like he was searching for something before setteling on the young ones face. 

"Thanks. But I don't know what you're talking about." Changkyun answered quickly, acting like he was confused. He wasn't. Gunhee was hinting at the conversation Changkyun overheared but the older one didn't have to know that.

"You're acting all innocent, I know that you listened to us." Gunhee said as Changkyun went and washed his hands. He was closer to him now, was able to smell Jooheons parfume on him. He felt like puking all over again. 

"I see how you look at him, Changkyun." Gunhee said. After not recieving an answer from him, Changkyun had hoped he would just let the conversation drop. 

At first he wanted to question Gunhee, but as it turned out, he wasn't brave enough to do that and he just felt weird. And the fact that Gunhee apparently noticed things he shouldn't was not helping either. 

"Again, I don't know what you're hinting at." 

Gunhee turned around, facing him. He tilted his head to one side, raising his brow a bit. He knew Changkyun knew and it wasn't even anything that could be hidden anymore. Gunhee chuckled to himself, continuing to stare at a weirded-out Changkyun.

"More importantly, I see the way he's looking at you." Gunhee could hear Changkyun suck in his breath and tense at the words. What in the world was he implying? The older one wore a smug smirk and continued watching Changkyun. 

"I can't believe both of you are that oblivious." Gunhee rolled his eyes taking a few steps forward, placing his hands on Changkyuns shoulders. If it were any other situation, Changkyun would've protested against the physical contact. But he was tense and confused and wanted to know more. 

"God, open your eyes already! You're going to be miserable!" The older one shook Changkyun with each sentence, eccentuating it further.

"Talk to each other for gods sake!" With that, he let go of the other rapper, taking a few steps backwards. He was visibly annoyed by the whole situation, running his fingers through his hair a few times. 

But the way Gunhee was irritated didn't even compare to Changkyun. The younger one really wanted to puke now, not because Jooheon was paying attention to the wrong person, but because he felt dizzy all of a sudden. His mind was everything but in order and he even stumbled a bit. He had a borderline panick attack in a bathroom at a ramyun shop. And why? Because an old friend told him that maybe, maybe Changkyun had a chance with the guy he was basically obsessing over for the last few years. He should've been happy, but he couldn't let his confusion just leave like that. 

"What do you even know about him?!" Changkyun spat in his direction, his words coming out harsher than he intended to. "You've been away for months!"

He wanted to be cool, put together and calm but the situation didn't allow it. He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to think about just the possibility of Jooheon liking him back. Because it would be too much and he would be left in a sea of regrets and embarassing things. Apart from that, he didn't want to get his hopes up, just to be stabbed in the chest by his speculations turning out wrong. 

"I." Gunhee answered sharply "Know more about him than you do. I wasn't around for long, I know but-" he stopped mid-sentence, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down. Changkyun did the same, the athmosphere returning to it's previous, semi-peaceful state. 

"But for you to be happy, believe me, you just need to talk to him. Sit him down, no excuses, and talk." Gunhees voice was much more peaceful, he looked a lot calmer, too. Changkyun felt bad for his outburst, the other rapper didn't deserve that. 

"I'm sorry." Changkyun whispered very very quietly "'shouldn't have been so harsh." He continued, bringing his hand up to his head and scratching the back of it. The older rapper seemed surprised at the others sudden apology but looked quite happy with it. He mumbled a small 'it's okay' before falling into silence again. After some moments, Changkyun moved forward, leaning against the sink next to Gunhee. Their shoulders touched, it was nothing much but the situation looked friendlier that way. 

"Is it that obvious?" Changkyun asked into the bathroom, not looking at Gunhee. He didn't know if the older rapper looked back at him or not, but he didn't care. They were lucky that no one tried to enter the bathroom, Changkyun thought. It would ruin their talk. 

"No, It's not." Gunhee shot back after a while of thinking. He didn't look at Changkyun, both were staring at the wall in front of them. 

"Then how did you find out?" The younger one asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest and shifting his weight on one foot. 

"I've started picking up his habits. I notice who he likes, it's a thing of mine." Changkyun didn't see it, but he could hear the smile Gunhee wore when he spoke. 

"Besides." He started again. "He has a thing for rappers. You're his type." And at that, Changkyun turned his head around to look at the other rapper. He looked at him in bewilderment, feeling something in his stomach. It was a warm, nice feeling this time. Changkyun scared himself, his mood changed way too often for it to be normal. 

"How do you know what his type is?" Changkyun asked, wondering. He was genuinely interested, raising his eyebrows even. Gunhee still looked blankly into the room, but at the younger ones question, he started to smile. His head turned around, slowly facing Changkyun and he smiled even wider. It was a painful smile. The younger one noticed the difference because he wore the same expression more often than he'd like to admit. 

"Because I'm not, Kyunnie." He answered, still smiling. His fingers found each other and he was nervously pushing and pulling at the ring he wore on one hand. Even the nickname, that made Changkyun normally mad, seemed like an attempt at friendliness. 

"So you like him, too." The younger one mentioned. He wasn't angry at the thought anymore. He basically knew the answer. But he still wanted to say it, curious at his reaction. 

" _liked_. I liked him." He began. "And he once liked me back, then he met someone." Gunhee began, his gaze was back at the wall in front of them. He sounded calm, deep, like someone telling a story. Changkyun on the other hand felt a rising knot in his stomach again. 

"At first I didn't know who it was, tried to question him. But he wouldn't tell me about it." His tone was painful, but he still smiled. He wasn't over Jooheon, but he desperately wanted to be. 

"It was at the time you came into the picture, too. I wondered if it was you but I never really believed it." Gunhees words hit Changkyun hard. He still didn't think that what the older one was saying was real, but he couldn't let go of the aching guilt in his chest. The rapper in front of him seemed truly hurt. 

"Ah I sound like a troubled teen!" He chuckled through his words again, looking at Changkyun one more time. 

"Just promise me you'll fix whatever this is between you two." Gunhee looked into Changkyuns eyes, he was on the verge of crying but tried to contain his emotions for the sake of Changkyun. And the younger one noticed, bearing the same expression sometimes. He noticed, that Gunhee and himself were more similar than he wished for.  
Changkyun nodded slowly, not letting his gaze break away from Gunhees features. 

"But why do you want me to do it? Shouldn't you be the one chasing after him?" The question burned on his tounge and he felt horrible for asking. The situation was sad as it was, he didn't have to make it worse. 

"Because he doesn't want me." Gunhee said, suddenly looking at the ground. "And I want him to be happy. And he looks happy when he is with you." He finished his sentence by taking a step forward, slowly opening the bathroom door without looking back at Changkyun. 

"We should be leaving, the others will be worried." And then he left the room. 

 

\---

"Do you really have to leave so soon? We still have an hour left until the next shooting starts." Jooheon whispered into Gunhees shoulder as they broke their hug off. They looked at each other for a short time before Gunhee tilted his head and started gazing at the sky. It was orange with spots of pink and blue inbetween. They were starting filming at dawn when the sun was already gone. But when the two friends were saying goodbye to each other, the sunset was in full view and it looked as pretty as always. 

"The sky is really pretty. I suppose the stars'll look amazing out here." Gunhee mumbled, not taking his eyes off of the sky. Whether it was because he actually enjoyed the sky or he wanted to avoid Jooheon was anybodys guess. But he seemed happy with the situation. 

"Hm I guess. We'll see. I'll be sure to send you a picture when it's nighttime." Jooheon answered as quietly as Gunhee asked. The taller ones eyes searched for some reaction from Gunhee, anything. But he didn't get it. Gunhees gaze remained on the moving clouds and shifting colors the sky had to offer. 

"Remember Itewan? I know you remember Itewan." Gunhee asked all of a sudden. His voice was a bit louder, making sure Jooheon was catching his words properly. He sounded like he wanted Jooheon to answer with a yes, wanted him to remember. 

Jooheon did remember Itewan. He always did. He and Gunhee went out, wanted to have fun before they parted ways. Jooheons debut was close by and Gunhee still didn't know what to do. If that wasn't enough frustration to start a fight, Gunhees feelings and the alcohol in his blood were. And they did have a fight. On a rooftop somewhere in Itewan. They screamed and shouted at each other, both drunk and naive. After some time of slurring insults and a few hours of sobering up multiple metres above the ground, both of them started talking like normal people again. And Gunhee liked talking and he continued on talking until he said things he shouldn't have. He told Jooheon about everything. His feelings mainly. And Jooheon didn't know how to react, he was so confused. Both didn't know how or when exactly it happened but they remember that they've kissed. Maybe they had done more, maybe both of them were delusional and they hadn't done anything. But in their reality they've kissed.

"The sky was pretty that night, too." Jooheon answered at that, a small breeze rushing over both of them. The sun started to set further and Gunhee now turned to look hat him. His eyes were watery and Jooheon knew that he had to stop himself from breaking down. Even though Gunhee didn't seem like the emotional kind of guy, he definetely was. 

Gunhee stepped forward, taking step after step in Jooheons direction. And before Jooheon could react to it, before he could protest, Gunhees lips were on his. Sober and without anything blurring their judgement. The kiss wasn't anything special, it was over after a few seconds. Jooheon shoul've parted earlier, shoul've pushed Gunhee away and insisted that everything was wrong. Especially because people could've seen them. It would be the end of their carreers, pushing him away immediately would be the only right thing to do. But he didn't. Because he knew his friend needed that. 

"You like Changkyun." Gunhee said before taking several steps back, returning into his prior position. Jooheon gulped at his friends comment, not wanting to think about it. He hasn't come to terms with anything himself, he didn't want to bother Gunhee. Mainly because he knew that it would just hurt him. 

"We're just friends, I get it. I just really needed to-" Gunhee started, his voice trembling, lacking his prior confidence. 

"I know, it's okay." Jooheon interrupted Gunhees sentence. Both of them smiled at the same time, like they knew it would be okay. The wind started to pick up and Jooheon felt the breeze on his skin. 

"It's time for me to go, Jooheon. Don't forget to send me that picture." He said slowly, gaining back the bossy undertone in his voice. Gunhee chuckled a bit, his smile seeming genuine that time. 

"I won't. I hope you visit sometime soon. We could go to Busan again." Jooheon requested, smiling back at his friend. 

"Sounds good. I will, promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again guys! It's way too late but I still wanted to update because I kind of promised it haha.
> 
> Gunhee is the best, someone help my poor child qwq
> 
> Anyway, I can't promise anything, but I think you'll get some heated stuff in the next chapters. The kiss is guaranteed but you never know what happens after that ;) ;) ;) ;)
> 
> Someone just kill me tbh


	9. 》eight《

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // Be warned, there is smut in this chapter. //
> 
> First time publishing smut let's gO!!!
> 
> If you have critcism, want me to die or simply want to rant about something, comments make my day and are the only motivation I have to keep on writing so feel free to comment something! ♡

Jooheon looked good, Jooheon looked really, really good. It wasn't even the make up or the hair, not even the suit he was wearing. Even though said suit made everything so much better, it was tailored to perfection and was such a contrast next to Jooheons skin and his pale hair. Changkyun wanted to personally thank their stylist. 

And even though Changkyun couldn't see Jooheon as clear, the day almost completely gone, he still radiated a warmth the young rapper couldn't ever seize to notice. It was busy and a lot of people were running around on the rooftop. Whose idea it was, nobody knew. But it fit. Fit their concept, the scene, it wasn't anything out of the ordinairy for one of their videos. Both rappers were surprised, a kiss scene on the rooftop. Nothing too surprising but the awkwardness between them grew which made talking a bit... well, hard. 

Changkyun was wearing nearly the same suit as Jooheon was. But the younger rapper was so sure that it fit Jooheon better than it could ever look on him. But he did feel confident, at least in his looks. What exactly he was going to do when their producers gave them the obligatory 'go' and the cameras started rolling was a completely different thing. But it wasn't time yet, luckily. Changkyun sighed, trying to calm his nerves down a bit. The A/V people were still running around, the producers and stylists, too. Everything was chaos and Changkyun wanted it to stay that way, because then he wouldn't have to do what he knew would be impossible to run away from. 

Jooheon and Changkyun stood at the side of their set, next to each other. The rooftop was dark, dimly lit and nearly not visible wouldn't it have been for the lights all of the camera people put there to be able to see. But that was on the other side of the building and the place where Changkyun and Jooheon stood was still a bit dark. They were leaning against a railing, mostly looking up. Both of them were silent, not looking at each other and just waiting. Probably having their own thoughts to fight with when Changkyun suddely heard Jooheon take a few steps forward. He walked into the younger ones view holding a phone, taking a picture maybe. Changkyun wanted to ask him what exactly he was photographing but the younger one was not really ready to talk. He was just as nervous as Jooheon was but the guy in front of Changkyun didn't look nervous at all. He could keep his calm, was way more professional than Changkyun. Maybe due to his age? 

Jooheon turned around, stopped facing the sky. His phone placed in his pocket again he directly looked at Changkyun. 

"The sky is pretty." He suddenly said, earning a confused look from Changkyun who, not really enthusiastically, nodded. It was weird, sure but the whole situation they were in was weird. 

"Why do you want to talk about the sky?" He asked, staying in front of Jooheon, his back leaning against the railing. 

"I don't know, I just want to talk I guess." Jooheon answered a bit quiet. He started smiling and Changkyun immediately felt a warmth in his chest, he really was gone. But how couldn't he be? Jooheon's smile was so addicting, it made it impossible to ignore. 

It wasn't that bad, the whole situation. 

What was bad, was their producers hand waving them over. 

"It's time!" Changkyun jokingly said, taking a few steps forward and patting Jooheons shoulder.

The older rapper turned around and froze the second he saw their producer. If that wasn't funny then his facial expression was and Changkyun finally smiled. Which made Jooheon smile and loosen up again. 

"See? It's not that bad." A chuckle was definely part of that sentence and both of them just started walking to the set. Changkyuns fake confidence not faltering a bit. 

 

\---

So that was it, the scene Changkyun made so much fuzz about. He felt bad then, kind of guilty for being so annoying over something as simple as this. It wasn't much, no clothes were removed and the scene in itself seemed really, normal? Well except for it's ending but Changkyun suddenly didn't mind. He was more nervous about the people watching rather than the things he had to do with Jooheon. 

It started out with choreography, just the two of them, their steps were the most ordinairy thing about this. That was filmed first. Then single shots of both of them rapping. There was a part in which they stood next to each other, their backs touching. But other than that nothing unusual. And then the producer and directors told them to get on set together. It was completely dark at that point and they had to light the scenery for the cameras to catch anything. They knew what it meant when their director told them to 'come on set together'. They probably didn't want to go but when Changkyun saw Jooheon walk forward to their producer, he couldn't really keep on staying still. 

Jooheon was instructed to lean against the railing and Changkyun knew where to stand. 'A few steps in front of him, able to walk towards Jooheon' as their producer told him a few minutes back when they talked things over once again. He would walk up to Jooheon, look at him for exactly four beats and then- and then. And then he would lean in, kiss him. Nothing big. No nothing to be worried about. 

And then the people around them started leaving the set, making room for their 'acting' as mediocre as it would be. Jooheon leaned against the railing, Changkyun was a few feet in front of him. Turned around a bit at someones instructions, leaned his head to the side when looking at Jooheon because some producer or director or whoever told him to. And he didn't really have to act like he looked at Jooheon with heart-eyes. Because he did, always. His eyes wandered from the others eyes to his lips, down his neck and- he saw Jooheon gulp. Coming back to reality a bit, he noticed that Jooheon was just as nervous as Changkyun was. 

And he noticed that someone counted down and then a 'go' could be heard from somewhere out of Changkyuns vision. And then he remembered. The plan, his instructions. 

One. He counted in his mind, leaning his head a bit to the left and changing his posture just slightly as he looked at Jooheon. Just like planned. 

Two. Still looking, a bit more to go. His gaze had moved down unconsiously and he snapped them back up, catching Jooheons gaze. They looked into each others eyes. Something seemed so intimate about the position they were in, Changkyun was weirded out. 

Three. The athmosphere became even weirder, thicker. The young rapper nearly forgot about the cameras, the instructions. For a short, quick second, he thought that it was just them. Just the two of them on an empty rooftop at night. But then he saw the lights out of the corner of his eye and remembered. 

Four. It would've been time to move. But he hesitated, just a second. He felt Jooheon looking a bit questioning and saw how his eyebrows wanted to furrow but didn't. He held back, his pretty-camera-facial expression being the reason behind it. 

After one, two maybe twelve seconds, Changkyun finally moved. Without even thinking about it, he stepped forward. Fast. And probably not camera-worthy but he didn't care, he wanted it to be over. Whether it was the kiss, or the time he waited for it he didn't know himself. And so he stepped up to his elder before stopping right in front of him swiftly. His hand moved up to Jooheons face and before anyone could do anything about it, Changkyun felt the others lips on his. He felt how soft they were, felt the intimacy between them and the small tension that had build up dissolve.

It felt amazing, undescribeable really. He'd been waiting for a situation like this nearly all his career and there it was. Jooheon in front of him, so close they could feel each others breath and their lips melting together. 

Changkyun could feel Jooheon and the way he tensed up at the impact. He probably looked cool and camera-ready but the young rapper could feel quite the contrary. And it would've been enough to stop right then, their producers would probably have mercy and let them go after just a small peck. But Changkyun had other plans because he wanted to use every last bit of this opportunity.

Unexpectedly, he moved against Jooheon, parting his lips. His hand wandered to the older ones waist while the other one stayed, cupping Jooheons cheek. He felt Jooheon loosening up a bit, moving against Changkyun. They could've stopped, but they didn't. And at that point, they didn't care about the staff or cameras or anything else but each other. 

The kiss went on and on, mouths parting and both rappers fighting for dominance. Unexpectedly, Jooheon earned the upper hand when he let his hand tangle up in Changkyuns hair and pulled at it just slightly enough for the younger one to feel but nothing the cameras would catch. He didn't just win that but also a quite embarassing noise that escaped Changkyuns mouth. Both were quite lost, extacy in a place where it shouldn't be and they didn't want to stop whatever they were doing. It just felt right, like everything they've ever done moved into place and then this happened. 

Changkyun was so sure he would pass out after they parted, the fireworks he felt on his skin every time his lips touched Jooheon were one indication. The other was the lack of oxygen he had to endure. And he tried resisting but his body gave in and he pushed himself away from Jooheon, panting like he wasn't able to breathe for an eternity. 

Jooheon looked confused, dissapointed even. But just for a second, his brows moving quickly and he put on his facade again. Cool, calm and way too much for Changkyun to handle. He tilted his head up at his elder who seriously looked like a mess. His cheeks were red and his hair, even though it was styled to perfection, seemed messy. Changkyun liked it, liked it when Jooheon was flustered and especially when it was because of him. The older ones facade didn't help either, Changkyun could see right through it. 

"Cut!" they heard someone of their staff shout. "We got everything! Good work!" 

Both of them straightened up again, trying to seem put together. They didn't look at each other, not really ready for eye contact just yet. They were silent and awkward until their producer, who walked up to them, started talking. 

"Really nice work, who knew that both of you could act that well? I'm surprised." He started, looking like a proud dad. Changkyun didn't like that. 

"Me too." He answered. The younger one thought it would be a witty response, something cocky to lighten up the mood. But it came out different. His voice was deep, rough. Like he just spend the whole night having sex. Changkyun himself probably didn't register that undertone in his voice but Jooheon did and he felt his blood boil up at his friends statement. God, that kiss. It destroyed him. 

"You had so much chemistry! And you endured that for so long, we don't have to do any more takes! We got all 3 angles!" He seemed really enthusiastic about it, blurting everything out like an excited child. Changkyun was just done, mainly overwhelmed with the whole situation. And Jooheon wanted to jump off of the rooftop, that's how fast his heart started beating every time he thought about what just happened. 

They were a mess, collectively. And it could be seen. Disregarding the weird looks some staff members shot at them, they started walking off once their manager finished his speech and everyone said their 'see you soon's' and 'good night's'. 

They walked into the same direction, silent and awkward. The athmosphere didn't loosen up, not the slightest bit. They walked into their companys van silently, staring daggers at the seats in front of them. Every time they accidentally touched, Jooheon made sure to back off like a scared mouse and Changkyun flinched. Things shouldn't be weird between them, they were acting. Just simple acting. They were pretending to like it, lying because of the cameras. Neither one of them wanted to do everything all over again, no, that would be rediculous. 

But it wasn't because once they opened the door to their dorms and found them empty, their sudden avoiding stopped. As if something hit them, eye contact wasn't something weird anymore. And they looked at each other the second they found the 'gone out to eat again, will be back at 12' note Kihyun left them.

Jooheon was nervous, Changkyun was too. And they stood in that nervousness, quiet and in the middle of their living room. Being alone with Jooheon, especially after what had happened seemed like a curse and Changkyun wanted to find the one responsible for it and kick him until his ribs broke. He felt the tension between them and the longer they looked at each other, the hotter the room got.

Jooheon moved first, taking a step towards Changkyun who backed up. They did this until the younger one felt his back hit something. A wall, a door, who cared? They played a game and Changkyun didn't want it to end, ever. 

His eyes didn't leave Jooheons for one second. They were captivating, his elders gaze seemed to dig deep into Changkyun. If looks could kill, Jooheons could make you whimper because being a 'tease' was written all over him at this point. 

Jooheon was so done, done with botteling up his emotions that they started to spill and he couldn't control himself anymore. He crashed into Changkyun quite forcefully, their lips instantly melting together like they did before. The younger one chuckled in between unbuttoning Jooheons shirt and winding his arms around his neck. He stopped after a few buttons, ignoring his elders clothes when he moved his hands to Changkyuns waist. His grip was strong, intimidating even. Changkyun could feel Jooheons fingernails through his shirt and he was so goddamn sure that his skin would have bruises if he continued like that. 

Jooheon moved down, his mouth trailing from his lips to Changkyuns Jawline. And as if that wasn't enough to make the younger one lose any control left, he started grazing his teeth over the others skin which made Changkyuns situation so much worse. 

"Fuck, do you know how much I wanted this?" Changkyun couldn't hold back from talking, his voice just as raw and deep as before, sounding completely worn out. Jooheon hummed at that, his lips coming back up to Changkyuns. He kissed him again, passionately and deep and he could hear the younger one exhale as a response. 

This was wrong oh god, this was so wrong. He couldn't, they couldn't. The guilty train of thoughts continued rushing through the younger ones head, making him freeze for a short moment. But Jooheons mouth on his, being so close it just didn't feel wrong in any way. Changkyun didn't want to lie to himself and he didn't want to stop anything that they were doing. And as Jooheon grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him away from the wall he was completely gone. Who cared what was wrong and right, who fucking cared? 

Before the younger one even realised he was pushed onto the couch, his back hitting the soft cushions. It would've been a painful, hard fall if there wasn't something soft to land on. Jooheon was rough, quite careless with him. He was literally pushing him around. And Changkyun didn't mind, he actually quite _liked_ it. He ignored the heat rushing down his body, even though he was certain Jooheon had quite the same problem.

His elders mouth came down and he connected their lips once again as he started pushing up Changkyuns hoodie. But unlike the younger one, Jooheon actually finished what he was doing, sliding the fabric off him completely. 

"Why in the world did you think wearing two layers of clothing today was a good idea?" Jooheon asked, panting quite heavily. A small chuckle escaped his mouth as he pushed the white t-shirt up Changkyuns chest, feeling his skin underneath his fingertips.

"I don't know, I didn't expect this to happen." He whispered quietly, meeting Jooheons eyes. Changkyun always thought they were beautiful but when he looked at him that night, he was just completely stunned. Jooheon was still smiling, his hands resting on Changkyuns hips, making small circles on his skin. He was so, looked so- just so utterly happy that the younger one felt out of breath. 

"I figured." Jooheon continued, the sparkle his eyes not fading a bit. His smile was still so apparent, Changkyun wanted to run away and just hide. He felt his face burning up all of a sudden. And Jooheon noticed, he noticed everything. 

"What's there to be flustered about?" He very very quietly asked, leaning forward, his lips next to Changkyuns ear. Even though he was too close to properly see it, the young one could hear Jooheons smile through the words. 

And really, what was he flustered about all of a sudden? The fact that Jooheon made him a whining mess in just seconds, the fact that they were so goddamn close? He didn't know what to say or what to do at his elders question. He just stuck to whay came out if his mouth, not caring at this point.

"You just- you look really damn good." Was what actually spilled from Changkyuns lips as he leaned back up, continuing to unbutton Jooheons shirt. He wanted to continue what they were doing, really really wanted to continue. But he also searched for a distraction to not be embarrassed any further and he found it in the buttons of his shirt. 

"Cute." Was the only thing that could be heard from the older rapper as he felt the fabric of his shirt slide off of his shoulders. He wore something entirely different when he woke up that morning, glad that he left his other clothes at their shoot. They were borrowed anyway. 

Jooheon stepped away from Changkyun, leaving him on the couch. Just one, maybe two steps so that there was a tiny distance between them. He eyed him up and down taking in the sight of a heavy breathing, messed up Changkyun. He still had a shirt on, too much fabric in Jooheons opinion. But one could still see the outline of his muscle through the white fabric which honestly should be illegal because it made Jooheons chest burn up. He wanted to photograph the younger one like this, wanted to make that view permanent and keep it to himself forever. 

As Changkyun started looking confused, Jooheons lips twitched a bit and the younger one could clearly see him smirk. That probably didn't mean anything good. But Chankyun knew better than to ask questions, he wouldn't get answers. That was just Joohen and so he didn't do anything. He just looked confused and irritated as to why his elder stepped away. 

His confusion slowly faded when he saw Jooheon drop to his knees. What in the world was he- oh. Oh. Okay yes that was something they could do. Sure. 

Changkyun wanted to scream. And Jooheon quite enjoyed the red that made it's way to the younger ones cheeks. He looked even more embarassed than he did before and god, Jooheon loved looking at him like this. He sat in between Changkyuns legs, not even once looking away from his eyes. The younger ones confusion was replaced by burning red and embarassment, it totally was his first time doing this. 

Jooheon quietly chuckled to himself as he leaned over, pushing his shirt up again. He kissed his stomach right where his abs started and let his mouth trail down until he hit clothing once again. 

"Wh- What are you doing, Jooheon?" Changkyun hesitantly asked, looking down at his elder. 

"Guess." He answered as he unbuckled Changkyuns belt. Jooheon liked it, liked how confused and lost Changkyun seemed at his advances. He looked so innocent. But he probably wasn't, or at least it was highly unlikely. He was a good looking guy after all.

"Jooheon." He whispered quietly "I-I've never... at least not with a guy." He finished his sentence very, very quietly. Jooheon didn't seem to be fazed by his stuttering as he continued to undo his pants. 

"Aah, so you already did ... 'something' huh?" Jooheon asked playfully, keeping the conversation going even though the situation didn't quite ask for it. 

Changkyun was hesitant, not wanting to spill half of his life story in such a situation. But then again, this was Jooheon and he noticed that the older rapper had stopped having his way with Changkyuns pants. It was painful having to watch him, his hand still resting on the zipper when Changkyun himself was nearly dying because a certain part of his was straining against said zipper.

"Come on, tell me. What did you do?" Jooheon asked, actually quite curious about what exactly Changkyun was up to that Jooheon didn't know about. He started moving a hand up and down the younger ones thigh, making him shiver even more. 

"It was with a girl." Changkyun blurted out. He didn't want to talk about it, it was more embarassing than anything Jooheon did. But the satisfaction of the other one undoing Changkyuns pants completely and reaching into his boxers was reason enough to start talking. Jooheon started when Changkyun talked and stopped when he didn't, it really was cruel. 

"It was one, maybe two years after our debut." He felt Jooheons hand on him and tried to desperately stay quiet. To his dismay, he couldn't help making some kind of sound as he felt Jooheon stroking hin agonizingly slow. He was so goddamn hard and Jooheon was just torturing him at that point. 

"Yes?" Jooheon asked, looking at Changkyun like he wasn't just jerking him off. 

"Y-yes and we-" Jooheons movements grew faster and he finally pulled Changkyuns boxers down enough, for him to be exposed completely. It was so terribly embarassing, he hid his eyes under his arm and tried to calm down. 

"Hm? What did you do?" The older one asked mockingly, quite amused at Changkyuns struggles. 

"It wasn't good." He started again with a very shaky voice, starting to let his hand trail down, stopping when it met Jooheons hair.

"She, She-" but his words were interrupted as he gasped at the sudden feeling of Jooheons mouth on him. He hummed in satisfaction as he felt him dragging a tounge up his length. It felt so damn good, he slightly bit his hand to stop any sounds from spilling into the room. 

But it was no good as Jooheon continued with his favor, smirking ever so slightly every time he made Changkyun moan or gasp. He started taking him into his mouth completely and the younger one was sure he'd completely go crazy. Jooheon started out slow, gaining in speed. Changkyun was forcing himself to keep his hips from bucking up into his elders mouth. His fingers found Jooheons hair once again, and he slowly started opening his eyes. Everything was just too much, Jooheon, the heat he felt around him and the fact that the sight of the older rapper around him, looking him dead in the eye was the best thing he'd ever seen. 

He lost the battle against his body and started moving his hips, Jooheon didn't seem to mind. He didn't have to endure it for long as Changkyun started gaining in volume. Jooheon removed his mouth from Changkyun earning a startled noise and a very confused look on the younger ones face. 

"Jooheon I'm-" but he was again, cut off. Not by Jooheons tounge, even though he would've preferred that. 

"Am I better than her?" He asked, grinning like the bastard he was. Changkyun wanted to kick him for that. Yes. Of course this was better. This was better than anything he'd ever done and seriously Jooheon what are you doing. 

"Yes- Yes you are, just, please-" Changkyun stuttered, eccentuating his whining with a tug at Jooheons hair. His elder just grinned, having mercy on Changkyun. 

He continued what he was doing and the younger one instantly felt the strain on his body loosen up. With one hand in Jooheons hair and the other one gripping at the couch, he started tensing up. He felt that he was close, Jooheon probably noticed, too. It was a pretty obvious thing as Changkyun's voice grew even louder, the raspyness even more apparent. Gasps and whiny noises started filling the room as he came closer and closer to finishing.  
Everything was way too hot and he felt like his body was going to melt. And then Jooheon hummed while he was still taking Changkyun which just made everything so so much worse. He came with a loud, breathy voice, his vocal chords finally giving in. It sounded horrible, even more worn out than he did after their kiss a while back.

He could've told Jooheon, could've made things clear. But his elder struggeling with Changkyuns come in his mouth was at least some kind of revenge. Jooheon looked even better like that. The younger one was amazed at how his elder always looked like a piece of art, even like this.

"You could've warned me." Jooheon said mockingly, trying to wipe his mouth clean with the back of his hand. He smirked through his statement, even though it sounded quite hurt. His voice was rougher, too. It sounded used and Changkyun could really, really get used to that. 

"Revenge." He just answered with a slight chuckle. Changkyun leaned forward, bringing their lips together once again. He could taste himself in Jooheons mouth but he didn't care. His elder kissed back, moved their lips together and slowly stood up, pulling Changkyun off of the couch by grabbing his shirt. 

They kissed for some time until they parted again, air was the main reason for it.

"I can't believe this." Changkyun quietly said against Jooheons lips, smiling through his words. And really, he couldn't. It was crazy, way too perfect to be true. Changkyun always had that doubt inside of his head, Jooheon always had a feeling inside of his chest. And that kiss kicked things off, they really needed to thank their manager. 

"You were always my favorite." Jooheon answered at Changkyuns comment. It was a sweet, nice thing, having Jooheon so close to him. It was so, so goddamn perfect. 

Except that it wasn't. Except that both of them heard a door opening and closing. Except that they remembered what industry they were in and that they could never, ever talk to anyone about it. 

They both realised that, probably at the same time. And as Changkyun looked at Jooheon the only expression in his face was shock. They both scrambled around, the younger one pushing Jooheon into his room before he started hastily cleaning everything up and putting the hoodie on again. 

With perfect timing, his roommates opened up the door to the livingroom Changkyun was still standing in. He looked presentable. Tired, but presentable. 

The bandmembers wouldn't have been surprised that Changkyun was standing in their livingroom in the middle of the night if it wouldn't have been for his very surprised face. 

"Kyunnie? Why are you up so late?" Minhyuk asked, jumping around the room to get closer to Changkyun. Even this late, he had too much energy to spare. 

"I- I just wanted to grab a bite to eat." He answered, noticing that his voice sounded horrible, rough, worn out, like he had a cold. He chuckled at that, not wanting to know what the others would say when they heard Jooheon. 

"Changkyun! What did you do? Are you sick or something?" Kihyun asked quite loudly, he really was concerned for their youngest member. 

"No. But doing choreography on a rooftop while it's cold and dark isn't the best thing for my throat." He lied smoothly. Everyone seemed to buy it and they didn't make any comment after that. 

They did ask how the shooting went, knowing what exactly they had to act out. But Changkyun didn't want to talk about it, afraid he would say something weird about the situation. So he just shrugged it off, teasing his members with a smooth 'you'll see when the video is finished'. 

"And where is our number one rapper?" Hyungwon asked, quite bored by the ongoing conversation. 

"Asleep in his room, I haven't seen him since we came back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I don't know how this happened, but it happened. I wanted the story to be quite slow, take my time with those two but- 
> 
> It just happened. Ok sorry. 
> 
> And sorry for not uploading in so long haha! 
> 
> But you got your reward for waiting, 5000 words of pure sin have fUN.
> 
> I'll try to post the next chapter in a few days, I don't want to keep you waiting again haha


	10. 》nine《

Kihyun surprisingly didn't question the raspyness Jooheon's voice still had when he arrived in the practice room that morning. He eventually had to get up and a scolding from either Kihyun or their Manager didn't really scare him that much anymore, so he entered the room with a hint of faked confidence and a glance in the small ones direction.  
Kihyun just glanced back at him with some kind of confused expression before turning his gaze to Changkyun, as if he knew that the younger one had something to do with it.   
And if their 'moms' speculating and weird looks didn't make everything awkward, then the older rappers secrecy sure did. Wow, he really wasn't good at lying to Kihyun.   
He was fine around everyone else. Could lie to Hyungwon, Hoseok, Shownu even. But the small angry pink haired guy? Not so much. 

"what's with your voice?" Kihyun asked quietly, his eyes not even once moving away from Jooheons.   
Sometimes, the rapper thought, Kihyun was cute and small and something reminding him of cotton candy and spring. But now, wow, cute? Far from it.  
He was the scariest thing Jooheon had ever laid his eyes on, not even the other members who just entered the room failed to notice the angry tension between the two of them.

"You know that you and kyun are the two centers this comeback?" He asked slowly, before strutting between the two of them and laying his hands on their shoulders. 

"Be happy that you didn't have to stand on that roof yesterday, Kihyun." Jooheon answered, still tired from his nearly sleepless night.   
Faking confidence was apparently the way to go as Kihyun seemed to calm down a bit.   
Or at least his grip on his and Changkyuns shoulder loosened a bit. Which was enough of a good sign to make Kihyuns victims relax.

Changkyun could only watch in disbelieve as he withnessed his friend confidently talk his way out of one of their conversations. In his mind, Jooheon would've been all red cheeks and shaking hands, which was kind of cute. But also very very annoying when the two of them had a secret to keep here.  
But, he thought, when Jooheon, the big baby of their group could talk their way out of Kihyuns death grip, so be it. 

"Give us a break, it was cold and we were weren't allowed to wear our coats." Changkyun responded, smirking and hoping that someone would come to their rescue if Kihyun decided to snap and preach about health and 'team spirit' once again. 

Luckily he didn't and luckily someone interrupted them before the situation could escalate any further. 

"At least you got to make out-" Hoseok shouted through the big practice room, grinning widely as he walked in.   
After placing his bag next to the door and walking over to the three of them, he continued his inaporopriate-ish comment. 

"Kihyun, give them a rest. Just because you aren't able to get into anyones pants doesn't mean that you can scold them because they had some fun."   
And if his comment wasn't already too much, his wink afterwards definetely was.   
Kihyun let out a small 'screw you', before playfully pushing Hoseok and leaving the three of them to go somewhere else. Probably to greet Shownu, but no one really cared where he went as long as he was gone and didn't have the chance to preach to them about anything anymore.

And of course the two rappers glared at Hoseok even though they weren't surprised that their friend made fun of them. The surprising thing was that only Hoseok mocked them about it, at least for now it was only him.   
The others probably didn't care or weren't involved enough to care.   
Whatever it was, Jooheon and Changkyun were happy with it. 

The kiss scene was one thing but what happened after that really made things difficult. How the two of them would be able to work that out between them was something entirely different.   
For now it was just casually ignoring the others presence and denying anything that ever happened. They are going to have enough time after promotions where their members don't cling onto them 24/7 where they could talk things through.   
But for now it was denying and denying only, even if that meant raspy voices in the morning, hushed glances and a deathly stare on Kihyuns side.

How long that would work out was another question, but the youngest didn't want to talk about it. Or think about it, or anything that involved mentioning Jooheon sucking him off on their living room sofa.   
But that didn't work out of course, his elder was the only thing he thought about. Which yes, sounded cheesy- but really, was there anything not cliché in the way the two of them behaved around each other? Nah.

Changkyun nearly didn't hear that the music was being turned on and that meant that their practice was starting. Ugh, maybe he would be the one getting a scolding today, he really wasn't paying attention- it was Jooheons fault, all of it.  
The song was their title track, "tell me", fitting perfectly with their album name "the code pt.3; answers".   
It was a continuation of their 'the code' series and who would've thought; there were some couple-lovestory esque things involved again this time.   
Just like in their 'the clan' project, it really was no surprise. 

And so was the dance; no surprise.   
It was powerful and tiring and, as always, Changkyun had trouble keeping up with it. He wasn't the best dancer when it came to learning the choreography, but once he had it down, his moves actually looked decent.   
There were some parts similar to their 'Jealousy' choreography, a lot of hip-thrusting and even more skinship, but that was something everyone was very fine with.   
Changkyun didn't mind it as well, it was just a bit much. And as a rapper he obviously had the easier parts- except for the end, because 'hey! Why don't we give Jooheon and Changkyun solo dance parts at the end where they practically have to grind on each other?' Yes of course, great idea on behalf of their choreographers, good job.

Sometimes, the young rapper didn't get their management. 

Performing and practicing new songs was always the best. It was just so refreshing in comparison to doing the same 'i can be your hero' - title track over and over again.  
Changkyun would eventually get tired of their new songs as well, but for that to be the case, he first of all had to learn the choreography. Which turned out to be harder than expected. 

He didn't make any mistakes during the pre-chorus, didn't trip at their dance break, but when the ending played, it was almost as if his brain had been wiped out, he couldn't even remember the fist steps to his and Jooheons solo parts. 

The words weren't the problem, his mind usually learned them first, connecting every step to the music, instead of learning both of them individually. 

But something just didn't work out. 

One, two, three - he kneeled down, looking up at his elder, their hands intertwining at the fourth beat and Changkyun being pulled up at the sixth.   
Then they walked around each other, Jooheon closing his part with the last two english verses. 

'One, two-' Changkyun mouthed along, trying to stay on beet as his feet made their way in front of Jooheon. The others hands around his waist didn't even give him enough time to breathe, as he counted, finally reaching seven.

eight. 

He was supposed to turn around, face his partner for a few brief moments and then slide away from him to continue on with their choreography. But somehow he messed it up, stumbling over the taller ones feet and landing on the floor shortly after. Changkyun didn't really know what exactly happened and how but apparently his fall was hard enough to drag Jooheon with him and so they both landed there on the floor. 

As the younger one tried to stand up, he felt some kind of sharp pain in his back and whinced a bit as he felt Jooheon roll off of him. 

"Whoah, please don't do that again-" the older one said, trying to laugh everything off. He stood up, reaching for Changkyuns arm to drag the other one up with him. He seemed much more dizzy and disoriented than usual, so even when he was standing on his feet, Jooheon had to hold him in place or else he'd be swaying just the slightest bit.   
His elders hands on him didn't really help Kyuns disorientedness and he held onto the bicep of his bandmate for a brief moment to not loose balance completely.

"Everything okay? Are you hurt?" Jooheon asked, concern definetely evident in his voice. It made Changkyun smile just the slightest bit; knowing that his elder cared about him made his heart grow bigger every time he noticed it. 

"Sorry, I'm fine-" he stuttred quietly, finally looking up into the others eyes, which were way too close to his own. He was impressed by how calm he was able to stay, being this close to Jooheon still gave him the biggest shivers. 

He glanced around before stepping away slowly and apologizing to the other members for his lack of coordination. They all looked worried about him, Changkyun usually wasn't this unfocused. 

"I'm really sorry, let's continue." He sighed, moving across the room and assuming the position he was supposed to have at the beginning of their stage.   
"Can we start again? I won't mess up again I pro-  
But he was cut off before Changkyun could resume his guilty rambling. 

"That looked really painful, you sure that you want to continue?" Minhyuk asked, eyes not leaving the others hip. It must've been really evident where exactly the point of impact was. And aside of that, the young rapper really wasn't that great at hiding his feelings. 

"Yea," he nodded, smiling reassuringly. "Don't worry, it's not that bad." He rubbed his hip and lower back and hoped that no one would notice how bad it actually was. He didn't want to concern his members and delay the training any further.   
He wasn't selfish, he wanted this comeback to be the best one they've ever had. And holding up their practice wouldn't benefit anyone; neither him nor the others.

"Take a break, please don't injure yourself further." Kihyun spoke up, raising his eyebrow. He didn't believe a word Changkyun said. But knowing how stubborn their youngest member was meant that convincing him to take a break would be nearly as impossible as convincing him to do a vocal part. So he just tried once, maybe Kyun would be a good boy and listen to him.

"No, believe me, let's just start again." Of course he insisted. And Kihyun nodded, frowning at the others ignorance regarding his own health. Sooner or Later he'd have to stop, at least that's what Kihyun hoped. He deserved a break. And if anything else happened, the small vocalist would force a break on him. 

The other members got to their places and their training session started again.   
And Changkyun gave his best to follow all their steps, praying to god that no one would notice the tears that were building up in his eyes.

It really hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok whaddup this is trash
> 
> But like wow i finally updated after half a year bless

**Author's Note:**

> It's one of my first stories, don't be too harsh guys. But I found that there isn't enough content for this ship (jookyun) so I had to do something about it. 
> 
> Also this is unbetaed and english is not my first language so if you find any mistakes or have critique just let me know! ♡


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